


Shattered Destinies

by LadyGretchen



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Depression, F/F, Horde!Adora, Horde!She-Ra, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Multi, Not Beta Read, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Polyamory, Rebellion!Catra, Roleswap, Slow Burn, Trans Female Character, Vignette
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2019-10-18 10:33:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 25,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17579210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyGretchen/pseuds/LadyGretchen
Summary: The past will always come back to haunt you, and destinies you could have sworn you had safely destroyed are in the habit of coming back together in ways at once familiar and horrifyingly wrong. If you leave someone you love behind as you run away from home, expect to meet them again... even if it is on the other side of the battlefield.A roleswap AU where a 14 year old Catra is forced to leave the Fright Zone. After 5 years of living in Bright Moon, she finds that she has to fight against someone she cares about. Chapters after the prologue take place out of sequence. Warnings for depression and referenced abuse.





	1. Prologue

Catra thought that would be the last time she saw Adora: on the edge of the Whispering Woods under cover of night. After having lived another 5 years outside of the Fright Zone, she honestly couldn't remember what she had done to anger Shadow Weaver so much this time. When asked about this years later: Catra would faintly recall something involving the black garnet, but honestly she had snuck into the black garnet room already (and had the scars to prove it) yet that had not quite got Shadow Weaver riled up enough to murder her. 

Her unit had launched into action. Between the 4 of them, they had gathered some supplies together and "borrowed" a skiff. Lonnie had handed the supplies over begrudgingly on the platform: her face and almost respectful fist bump saying the "I still don't like you, I just don't want you to die" that she couldn't bring herself to speak. Kyle had burst into tears of course, clinging to Catra's neck until Rogelio first joined in the hug, and then gently pulled Kyle away into another comforting cuddle.

Adora was flying the skiff. Catra couldn't bring herself to speak throughout the journey. Neither, it seemed, could Adora. It felt wrong: borrowing a skiff and flying off to the edges of the Whispering Woods, laughing all the way, was the sort of thing Catra would joke about doing with Adora all the time. But the silence reigned over the journey out of the Fright Zone. 

Neither dared to speak until Adora landed the skiff. Catra couldn't say how long they stood in silence. Between the disdain for weakness and simply not being able to leave the Fright Zone, growing up in the Horde meant that they hadn't gotten used to saying goodbye. 

Catra made the first move- throwing her arms around Adora's shoulders, unable to stop the tears, and whispering:

"I'm going to miss you."

This was all that was needed for Adora to break into her own floods of tears.

"I'm going to miss you to, Catra"

"You could come with me." The tears couldn't hide the hint of hope in Catra's voice.

"I can't." Adora pulled away, shaking her head. "Someone's going to be punished for this. I can survive it. Lonnie? Rogelio? Kyle? They won't."

"And there's no way I can stay?"

"No." Adora pulled away. "Even if we managed to stop Shadow Weaver, she'd just try again later. The Fright Zone isn't safe for you anymore. You'd always be in my shadow, under my protection. Its bad enough already. I can't do that to you anymore." 

Catra couldn't help but feel guilty at that. She _hated_ feeling guilty, and she was glad she didn't feel guilty often- usually after fighting with Adora or getting her in trouble. Simply by being one of the few people Catra really cared about, Adora was able to be a massive pain without ever once meaning to be. Catra would normally try to aim a sarcastic comment or catty remark right back at Adora, but now found she couldn't summon one up: she couldn't even meet Adora's gaze. She began to lower her eyes away, only to be caught by Adora's hand cupping her chin.

"I've got one last thing to give you Catra."

With that, Adora leant in for a kiss.

Catra's eyes widened: she didn't know how long it lasted, but would later swear to everyone she knew that the kiss Adora gave was innocent, almost chaste. 

The kiss Catra gave Adora back, when Adora pulled away and tried to excuse herself, was not either of these things. Instead, it was clumsy, heated and desperate. In that moment, Catra needed the taste of Adora's lips like she needed the air she breathed and the water she drank. And judging by Adora's reaction, the feeling was mutual.

When they did part, panting for air, Adora spoke first:

"You know, one day I'll kill Shadow Weaver. And when that happens, you'll come back right?"

"Ha! Maybe while I'm out here, I'll take over some dumb princess's kingdom- build a Horde away from Horde."

Adora tried not to chuckle at the pun.

"If you do that, do you think I could visit?"

" _When_ I do that, our whole unit can visit."

"Even Lonnie?"

"Even Lonnie. But only you get to share the best bed with me."

At this, Adora couldn't help but laugh. This was just a lie- a game- but one they could both play at to make leaving each other tolerable. 

Catra couldn't honestly remember much more from their parting: only a promise, perhaps spoken, perhaps not, to always love each other no matter what happens. And, surprisingly all things considered, both kept it. They did meet again, some 5 years later, but Catra hadn't conquered her own kingdom and Shadow Weaver was not yet dead. Instead, claw went against fist, cunning against sword: both had something they were willing to fight for, and as long as the other stood unbroken there was never going to be peace.

Yet though Catra would go on to have another, even though they were on opposite sides, even though their friends thought they were mad for doing so: they never forgot that promise. Every battle began with held gazes; every clash had a tender comment and stray touch; and sometimes, when they thought no one else was looking, they'd leave letters and flowers for the other to find.

But though she would always remember her promise, this future wasn't even a possibility in Catra's mind. At the time, all she knew was that she was alone, and more scared than she dared to admit.


	2. Mother I

Queen Angella had not expected to get a second daughter after Micah had died. As it turned out, reality had a way of surprising her. 

\---

Catra was always had a knack for getting into trouble, and was almost as good at getting out of it again. The first time Angella had met her was no different. 

The first Angella had heard was from a guard bringing news of a Horde spy who had _somehow_ slipped through the Whispering Woods, past every guard and every defence and was now hiding _somewhere_ in Bright Moon's castle. A day of near misses followed: of missed glimpses of fur and food mysteriously disappearing; of the guards spotting a cat like tail moving around a corner, only to chase after it and find its owner vanished.

It was late when it finally seemed like the spy's luck had run out. No less than 3 guards had insisted that they had cornered the spy in the castle cellar, and for the first time that day they seemed to be correct. As Angella approached the cellar with her guards, she could already hear the sounds of a scuffle in the dark. And as Angella and her guards started to light up the room with the blue and purple lights of magic, they saw the blur and shadow of the guards already there trying to deal with the intruders. And then, with a shout, the whole room became still.

"LEAVE HER ALONE!"

Angella eyes were first drawn to the source of the shout: Glimmer, her defiance now an angered snarl, clutching the Horde spy and blocking the guards from getting near. Angella was about to start demanding an explanation as to why her daughter had gone mad, when her eyes saw Bow hugging the spy's other side. His face was far less defiant than Glimmer's and very much aware of how much trouble he could be in, but Angella could see in his eyes that he believed that this was right thing to do.

And it was here that Angella looked at the person they were protecting. 

Blue and yellow eyes tried to stop tears rolling down a face that couldn't have been older than Glimmer's, whilst cat ears lay flat against a body that shivered in Bow and Glimmer's embrace.

Not a spy.

Not a soldier.

Not a threat.

Just a very, very scared 14 year old girl.

Angella found her eyes moving again to Glimmer, seeing not madness but righteous fury, and was reminded of Micah. The shame fell upon her like heavy rain as Angella considered whether her late husband would have reacted much differently to her treating a teenage girl like she was a monster.

Guilt had made the guards lower their weapons before Angella gave the order. With barely a word and gesture of her hand, Angella dismissed the guards. They filed out as quickly as they could, leaving Angella alone with the 3 children.

Angella's face softened as she knelt in front of Glimmer's new friend, looking into her eyes as she addressed the trio:

"I will want an explanation, but I think it will be better if you share it somewhere where more comfortable... Especially if we cut open that cake I've been saving for just the right occasion."

Bow and Glimmer let go of breathes they didn't know they were holding, whilst their new friend brightened up a good deal at the mention of cake. At Angella's beckoning, the three friends followed her out of the cellar. 

The explanation gave closure, but honestly Angella had learned all she needed in that cellar. It was probably a good thing the trio gave it though, as half way through Angella decided to let the trio think that she had forgotten about Glimmer being grounded.

\---

Within a week, Catra had made herself at home in Bright Moon castle. Her first night there was a sleepover in Glimmer's room, as she wasn't used to sleeping alone. After that, in spite of having her own room Catra would fall sleep anywhere at almost any time: curled up in chairs in front of a fireplace, lounging in rafters and wide windowsills, anywhere a pillow could be placed was fair game. 

That said, Angella would be lying if she said she thought if Catra as a daughter at that point. That came midway through Catra's second week at the castle.

It was late at night when Catra slunk into Angella's study and, trying not to sound sheepish, asked if she could stay with Angella for a bit. Angella was suspicious when the "bit" lasted an hour, and had to say something when Catra started to follow her to her room.

"Is there something you want to talk about?"

"Just can't sleep." 

There was obviously more to it than that. Even as Catra shrunk away at the question, her body kept moving towards Angella. Something in her wanted to say something, something in her was scared to do so. Angella had enough experience as a parent to know a cry for help that didn't want to be said out loud, and so lead Catra into her room: sitting down on the side of her bed with Catra following her lead.

"I'm not sure I can help you, unless you can tell me more."

"A nightmare." Catra's voice came out a mumble, an admission of weakness her instincts kept telling her would only get her punished.

"If your not comfortable telling me, you could tell Glimmer. I think she should still only be pretending to sleep at this time." Angella gave a gentle touch to Catra's hand. No pressure: a way out if Catra wanted, but reassurance all the same if Catra wanted to open up.

"I can't. I don't want her to pity me... And I... Don't want to scare her."

Angella's hand moved across to hug Catra across the shoulders.

"I can listen Catra, if you want to talk to me. What was your nightmare about?"

"Shadow Weaver." Catra first said it as if that explained everything, but when that lead to a silence that wanted an explanation she continued: "She raised me and Adora. I left the Fright Zone because she wanted to kill me."

"What?" Angella's question came out quietly, confusion and horror dripping into her voice at how normal that seemed to Catra.

When Catra answers, its all Angella can do to keep it out of her voice- constantly reminding herself that Catra wants understanding, not pity. A minute into Catra's answer, and Angella's confusion was replaced by anger. When she saw Catra's scars, she felt it coiling in her gut, so angry that she felt sick, so angry that she could barely breathe. 

Angella kept it buried all the way through, reminding herself that Catra was the important one here, and she needed comfort, not anger. She kept it buried as she promised that as long as she lived, Shadow Weaver would not harm Catra again. She kept it buried as she held Catra, letting her drift of to sleep in Angella's arms. She kept it buried as she tucked Catra into her bed, and kept it buried as she briskly walked out into the open air of her star lit balcony. On the balcony it came out as angry tears from eyes that could only see red.

When her anger subsided in the cool night air, Angella knew she had to be Catra's mother from now on. Catra needed one, and Angella cared and loved too much not to step up.

\---

"Its not going to happen Angella, just give it up."

Angella saw the enthusiasm drain first from Catra's reflection in her dressing mirror, and when Catra did turn to look at her the serious nature of her voice was somehow not diminished by being halfway to getting a tuxedo on. Catra was good at looking tired, resigned and uncaring, and in the 2 years since she met Angella she had been practicing a lot. 

Bringing up Catra was often a challenge, but the strangest one Angella found was getting her to make more friends. Convincing her to go to this party was easy: Catra took to a tuxedo like a turtle took to its shell, and offering to help her get suited up was definitely the easiest way to start this conversation. The problem was that, even though Catra was very good at talking people into doing what she wanted, she almost never made a permanent connection outside of Glimmer and Bow. Still, Angella could be as stubborn as her daughter when she put her mind to it.

"I'm just a worried that your missing a part of your life. Glimmer and Bow have made lots of friends at parties like these, and neither of them are as convincing as you. And I worry you'll be missing a lot more if you don't reach out to someone else." Angella's voice turned into a chuckle as she stage whispered a not-so-subtle hint "Did I mention that I caught Glimmer and Bow talking about their crushes?"

Catra shrunk at this, her annoyance turning into obvious discomfort.

"I... don't think I can Angella..."

Angella paused at this, realising her misstep. Fortunately, she had learned a lot from her early days of being a parent for Catra. Careful not to go to far into Catra's personal space, Angella placed a comforting hand on Catra's shoulder.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Its just... When I think about being with someone, it... That someone keeps being Adora." 

Catra's voice started uncertain and ended as a frustrated growl.

"It's been two years, you're allowed to move on."

"She gave me my first kiss, promised to love me forever, and saved my life. _You_ try to move on!"

A defensive hiss entered Catra voice, her fur rising in alarm. Angella decided to drop the point, instead gently smoothing Catra's fur back down and trying a different tact.

"Hm. Fair enough. But you are allowed to have more than two friends, and honestly your reluctance is a little confusing given how good you are at talking-"

"I'm not good at talking to people, I'm good at manipulating them. Its different."

"I worry you don't think highly enough of yourself."

"But its true. When I manipulate someone, I will get what I want from them. When I actually try talking to someone? Its like a bit of me is waiting for me get angry at something they don't get. Or to be pitied and treated like some delicate doll for things I'm getting over. Or for them to be scarred for life when I accidentally say something about living in the Fright Zone."

"I don't think you could scar them for life Catra"

"You didn't see Bow's face when I told him that we didn't have birthdays in the Horde."

... Okay granted, Angella didn't have an answer to that. Still, like all mothers, she knew how to be persistent.

"Have you not considered that there might be people in a similar situation to you at these parties?"

"Ex-Horde members? Are you kidding?"

"Socially I mean. You're not the only person in the world who has to worry about accidentally hurting someone or being hurt by someone too stupid to understand you. I'd imagine that they'd feel a lot safer and happier if they had someone in their lives who knew what it was like to live like that."

"... Is that a guilt trip?"

"Is it working?"

Catra grumbled as she turned back towards the mirror. Angella would be lying if she said that she thought that the finer points of empathy were instinctual to Catra at this point, but her conscience had undeniably grown since leaving the Horde... no matter how frustrating she often found it.

The argument died there, Catra was instead focussed on getting her tuxedo on. When the echo of footsteps and banter from down the corridor told Angella that Bow and Glimmer had finished preparing, she suggested that Catra keep an eye out for the Princess of Dryl, to which Catra responded with a grunt. 

Catra perked up when she spotted Bow and Glimmer, but Angella couldn't help but feel a stab of melancholy. The war had fallen into a stalemate, but it was far from over. Angella knew in her bones that another Horde offensive would be on its way one day, and she didn't know how long she'd be able to keep her children safe from it.


	3. Sister

Glimmer wasn't sure what she expected the face of her enemy to be like. Five years living with Catra had made her understand that the average grunt in the Horde was probably not beyond redemption, and Catra's impromptu briefing on what the Horde seemed to be doing here suggested that this was one of the more honourable force captains of the Horde.

Glimmer had expected the force captain to be muscular, tall and wielding a sword Glimmer would only be able to lift with two hands. Glimmer wasn't surprised by the force captain being beautiful, with gloriously golden hair. Glimmer hadn't expected the force captain to look so sad.

Catra reckoned that the Horde was here to shock the civilians into accepting their presense- turn up with extreme force, arrest any trouble makers, repeat the next day and the next, until one day Horde tanks moving down the street are as normal as indoor plumbing- until one day the Horde is the law. 

Agreeing to distract the force captain long enough for Bow and Catra to evacuate the village, Glimmer had teleported up close and roared a challenge at the captain. The tanks had stopped. The march of the infantry had paused. Glimmer had no idea what would come from antagonising someone who was 8 foot tall and built like the tanks she commanded, and had been ready to teleport away at a moment's notice. She had not expected the force captain to look down at her with those sad eyes, suppress a sigh, and carefully stab her sword into the ground. 

The force captain raised her fists as her eyes filled with steel. When she spoke, Glimmer knew enough to be intimidated:

"The challenger gets the first move."

For all the good it did her. The fight had been short but intense. Glimmer thought she had been doing well at first, teleporting out of her enemy's vision to attack like Catra had suggested. But the force captain was a quick learner. The first hit the force captain got was an unpleasant surprise: landing immediately after Glimmer had teleported and knocking the wind out of her. The second hit, following swiftly on from the first and aimed at Glimmer's midsection, landed like a kick from a mule and brought Glimmer to her knees. 

Glimmer had been aware of a circle of Horde soldiers chanting the force captains name. A bit of her clocked that the name was "She-Ra", but didn't have time to realise what that implied. For a heartbeat later, She-Ra was charging forward, determined to finish this. Another heartbeat, and Glimmer was in She-Ra's choke hold.

Glimmer gasped for air that wouldn't come, the chanting of the Horde soldiers hitting a fever pitch as, strangely, the force captain began to gently stroke Glimmer's hair as if to comfort her. Glimmer thought about teleporting, but She-Ra's hold around Glimmer's throat was too tight: even if Glimmer could teleport, she'd end up taking She-Ra with her. Instead, she began to tease out the words the force captain was whispering in her ear:

"I'm sorry, but it must be like this. You'll be treated well as my prisoner. I promise I'll make this worth while one day..."

Glimmer was on the verge of blacking out when something made the force captain stop. Glimmer was only able to gasp for air as events moved on around her, but a bit of her recognised that she had reinforcements of some kind. When Glimmer had recovered enough to recognise the voice of her rescuer, she couldn't help but smirk. As she had learned long ago, if you wanted to know whether something was not a good idea and needed to be talked out of it, you asked Bow. If you knew it was a bad idea but wanted to survive doing it anyway, you talked to Catra. 

The Horde soldiers were silent. For the first time, the force captain actually looked like she was caught off guard. Glimmer's rescuer carried on monologuing.

"... You're taller than I remember. And there are lots of force captains that honestly believe in what the Horde is doing. But there is only one that looks ready to cry over roughing up a few civilians."

"Catra?" The force captain muttered, something almost like fear entering her voice.

"Hey Adora"

\---

Needless to say, when Catra and Glimmer first met they were not so glad to see each other. Glimmer _should_ have been grounded, but keeping someone who could teleport in one room was essentially impossible, so of course she had sneaked out to vent her frustrations to Bow. There wasn't any conscious decision to go through the Whispering Woods, but venting to Bow in Bright Moon castle risked being overheard and simply escaping to the town meant more risk of being caught. Between the privacy and Bow knowing the woods well enough, it was simply the best place to go to avoid being caught bad mouthing your mother. 

Of course, there was some thought put into it on Bow's part: he knew enough about Glimmer to know that this was going to be a long lasting vent, and had put together a post-vent picnic basket for the pair to start going through when Glimmer's hunger inevitably caught up with her. It went without saying that meeting a member of the Horde was far from their minds, especially with the current stalemate, and the idea that the smell of good food would bring a member of the Horde closing in on them verged on being absurd.

Of course, absurdity is not what it used to be. For as it turned out, as Bow set up a picnic blanket on the edge of a glade and Glimmer was distracted mid-rant, a figure stalked into the clearing. Bow and Glimmer felt a chill run up their spines as calculating blue and yellow eyes regarded the pair with a hungry glare, and the glint of inhuman fangs did not help with this. Looking back, Glimmer would wonder how long they would have stared like rabbits hypnotised by a fox if they hadn't then clocked the intruder's clothes: the light leather uniform of a Horde scout.

The pair had snapped into action. Bow was in the middle of grabbing an arrow as Glimmer struck what she hoped was an intimidating stance and shouted:

"Stop! You're invading Bright Moon lands! Surrender or-"

The stranger was not as intimidated as Glimmer had hoped. The scout's glare only deepened, with Glimmer's speech turning into a scared gasp as the scout held up a hand and extended her claws. As Glimmer's fight or flight instincts started to kick in, her eyes flashed to Bow. He was clearly as terrified as she was, but had managed to hold back the urge to run for cover: aiming his bow at the intruder. Glimmer resolved to do the same, but couldn't stop the fear from entering her voice as she carried on her speech:

"Surrender... or leave! We are prepared to defend ourselves and you will not hurt anyone this day!"

The invader was still not impressed, but was obviously thinking a little more about this situation. When she did speak, it was obvious she did not feel threatened in the slightest:

"To be honest, I'm not interested in a fight right now," she purred confidently, "But I'm running a little low on supplies, so if I decide to be your prisoner for a bit would you share that food with me?"

"YES!"

Bow had spoken before Glimmer, his voice almost breaking with in excitement as his attitude to the invader took a complete turn around. Glimmer was less sure: the phrases "decide to be" and "for a bit" suggested that this horde scout was alarmingly blasé about being taken prisoner; and if she was honest, Glimmer wasn't sure she and Bow could keep this stranger a prisoner if they were going to try to escape. Even so, when Bow beckoned the stranger to sit on the picnic blanket, Glimmer went along with it.

The introductions went about as well as could be expected:

"I'm Bow"

"Catra."

"Don't forget you're a prisoner!"

"... That one's Glimmer."

... Before Bow started taking the food out of the basket. Catra's eyes lit up as first came the warm cheese pasties, then she gave a gasp as Bow brought out the mini pork pies, and finally was all but drooling as Bow pulled out fresh scones and sweet strawberry jam. With the go ahead from Bow, Catra pounced on a pork pie and made short work of it, leaving nothing but crumbs. 

Glimmer found this prisoner taking business take an even stranger turn as Catra's eyes filled with tears and contented purrs filled the air:

"That... Was the best food I've ever tasted..."

With a single compliment to his baking skills, Bow had been completely won over. Glimmer, however, liked to think she was made of sterner stuff.

"Look, if you're going to be our prisoner, I'm going to interrogate you."

"Yeah, sure."

Bow shot a look at Glimmer, mouthing "rude" in her direction, but Catra still didn't seem to care, rapidly moving onto a cheese pastie.

"Okay, why are you here? Are you scouting for a Horde invasion?!"

"Wha- err, no. I'm not with the Horde anymore."

"What's that meant to mean?!"

"I left."

Catra was barely paying attention to Glimmer at this point, instead desperately grabbing more food in between her answers. Glimmer, already on edge, only became more annoyed at this.

"Do you think I'm STUPID!?" Glimmer finally exploded "You expect me to believe that you just left? NOBODY leaves the Horde."

Catra glared back at Glimmer, fur raised defensively.

"Well its not like I _wanted_ to leave and meet you. I didn't have a choice."

"What is that meant to mean?"

"That I didn't want to die!" 

The shouting match became a quiet that was deafening. Glimmer had been silenced by guilt, and Catra had been reduced to a whisper by a sudden awareness of being vulnerable:

"I... Would have been killed if I stayed."

Glimmer had thought about fighting against Horde soldiers since she knew what the Horde was, as a 5 year old, she had joined with Bow to defend her tea partying dolls and teddy bears from an endless stream of imaginary Horde soldiers. Nothing she had thought before could have prepared her for talking with Catra: someone she was realising was less an invader and more a refugee.

Catra couldn't look at Glimmer at first, but looked up in surprise when Glimmer's hand gently touched her shoulder.

"I'm sorry Catra. I... should've treated you better than that."

This time, Catra looked at Glimmer like she had just grown a second head, but recovered well enough to give an almost convincing growl:

"Well... I'll let you off because I'm your prisoner and you're feeding me." The last point, she emphasised by taking a bite out of another cheese pastie.

"How long have you gone without food?"

Bow's question surprised both Glimmer and Catra, the concern in his voice unmistakable. Glimmer's eyes moved to the picnic and saw what had him worried: Catra had already eaten half the contents of the well stocked picnic basket and showed no sign of slowing down.

Catra's eyes flashed with vulnerability, before giving the wannabe uncaring shrug that people gave when they were too proud to answer the question. If Catra had wanted to divert attention away from the issue, she had failed: Bow was obviously worrying even more.

"Have you got somewhere to stay?"

Concern had found its way into Glimmer's voice; apparently Bow's worrying was contagious. Catra responded with another shrug.

"You should come with us!" Glimmer started, speaking on instinct. She had started tallying every problem involved in that suggestion half way through saying it, and while she couldn't keep the nervousness out of her voice, she still continued: "What I mean is, we can get you somewhere to sleep the night and... Maybe we can see from there?"

Catra's expression was unreadable at first, before breaking into a laugh.

"Well, obviously I _have_ to go with you," Catra started, a very smug smile gracing her face, "in case you've forgotten, I'm your prisoner."

Catra's joke managed to put a smile back on Glimmer's face, but she knew that things would end up having to be more complicated than that. If nothing else, at the time she had no idea how she was going to explain this to her mother...

... Looking back of course, Catra's first day in Bright Moon worked out well in the end. With hindsight, that first encounter in the Whispering Woods was enough of a coincidence that Glimmer wondered about it to this day. Catra would simply point to it as the point where her luck started to balance out for the 14 years before then, but Glimmer wasn't so sure. A lot of people suspect that the changing terrain of the woods had, if not an intelligence, then certainly a design to it. 

Entrapta had once thought up a grand hypothesis about the woods deliberately sending Catra to the Rebellion in order to patch the hole in the First Ones' plan where She-Ra was meant to go, but Glimmer's believed it was a little simpler than that. When you get down to it, Glimmer believed that woods just wanted to help a lost and lonely girl find some help.

\---

Glimmer leant on her staff to avoid falling to her knees. The training had been far more punishing than anything she was used to: she knew she was going to hurt in the morning. Catra was more used to this, able to flash a proud, toothy grin at her sister; but Glimmer had done her best to give as good as she received. Catra would have to have a lazier morning than usual to rest off the bruises Glimmer had given her. 

Glimmer's staff training, though safely isolated in the Whispering Woods where Queen Angella would not be able to voice her objections, had an audience. Glimmer had expected Bow to look disturbed by the intensity of the exercise- his face a picture of concern verging on horror. Glimmer had not expected Entrapta to look so uncharacteristically worried, but after Catra had taken up a... _complicated_ relationship with her she had become very good at defying Glimmer's expectations. 

It wasn't as if Glimmer hadn't had training of a sort: in Catra's early days in Bright Moon castle, Angella had suggested that she organise a spy drill for the guards. Every month, Catra would play at being a spy, trying to steal cake from Bright Moon castle. The guards would have to try to apprehend her. Needless to say, Catra loved every minute and the Bright Moon guard was now far more prepared than ever before. Catra had invited Bow and Glimmer to join in, and Angella allowed it when she realised that, ironically, organising a heist every month kept her daughter out of trouble.

This training was different: there was an edge, an oppressive necessity that wasn't there before. Glimmer knew that this was going to be painful: Catra had told her as much. Glimmer had thought of backing out all the way up to the training session... But then she'd remember the first village she saw gutted and abandoned. She'd remember a friendly inn she stayed in a few days ago made unnaturally quiet, now only housing the smell of drying blood and half dead fires. She remembered a wishing well where the village children would gather to play reduced to rubble. She remembered Catra not even blinking at the horror, but nevertheless hugging her tightly as she cried into Catra's mane. And once Glimmer had remembered all that... There was no way she could back out. Afterall, if she couldn't get through the training the average Horde cadets went through... What hope would she have of fighting the Horde when they attacked the next village? She hadn't fought the Horde face to face yet... But how long was that going to last?

"You did good Glimmer."

Catra's voice came out scratchy and strained yet soft as she moved forward and pulled her sister into a gentle hug. Before Glimmer knew it, Bow had joined in, and then all three were embraced by a caressing tangle of purple hair. Though surrounded by hair, Glimmer could feel Catra stifling a giggle.

"Are you okay Catra?" Entrapta was a little confused as to what was wrong with Catra, and Glimmer was only too happy to enlighten her:

"Didn't Catra tell you?" Glimmer drew out a pause just long enough to see the panic enter Catra's eyes. "She's ticklish. Your hair is tickling her."

"I am NOT ticklish. I don't know why you would-"

Catra was broke into laughter midway through speaking, Glimmer having given her belly a quick tickle. 

"Hmmm, I think I'll have to study this..."

Catra writhed and roared with laughter as Entrapta's hair started moving along her sides and feet, left smiling and gasping for air when Entrapta stopped.

"Bright Moon visit log, day 3" Entrapta began, a tendril of hair holding up her recorder, "Catra is confirmed to be _highly_ ticklish."

Glimmer couldn't help but chuckle at her sister's expense. Though her new training with Catra would remain difficult, though it would leave her with pains and bruises, though it would be tainted by being a necessity instead of fun, Glimmer knew then that she was with the right three people to help her through it.


	4. Lover?

The night wasn't cold, but after dancing in front a roaring fire the cool night air may as well have been a blizzard against Catra's skin. She had liked the dancing, but couldn't stand a lot of the people she was keeping the company of, and when they started getting louder and rowdier Catra had left telling Bow that she needed a breath of fresh air. Bow knew what this meant, and had given Catra a quick hug before assuring her that he'd let Glimmer know.

The noises of the party dulled almost to nothing when Catra shut the door behind her, her quiet sigh a thunderstorm against the chirping of the crickets and toads and other creatures that made up nature's night shift in the garden. Within a moment, Catra's sensitive eyes had already adjusted to the darkness, and she was able to get a good look around her. 

The statues of lions moving into a roar stood on either side of her; a clover and grass pitch for games of cricket, croquet and having a picnic stretched out on her left; surrounded by perfectly trimmed hedges that linked up to the hedge maze on her right. The garden had apparently been built when hedges, ivy, copper statues and not much else were the "in" fashion for oversized gardens, and other clearing a pitch it hadn't been updated much. 

So far, so dull: none of this had caught Catra's attention. What did catch Catra's attention was the glint of light on glass peaking out above the top of the hedge maze. Catra wasn't sure what she expected her curiosity to lead her to when she was navigating the maze. She wasn't surprised when the glint of glass turned out to from binoculars aimed to look through one of the mansion's windows. She was definitely not expecting the person she saw using them. 

She wasn't tall enough to peak over the hedge, the two tails of her hair had lifted her high enough like stilts, with a tendril of hair occasionally breaking off from the two columns in order to grab something from the plate of miniature cupcakes that was sat where her feet would be. Her clothes looked more suited to shifts in a Fright Zone factory than dancing at a party, which combined with being so engrossed in her spying that she didn't notice Catra almost gave her the impression of not being quite real, like Catra had stepped into another time when nearing her. 

Catra was understandably not sure what to make of this person at first. But then, what was it Angella told her before the party?

_You're not the only person in the world who has to worry about accidentally hurting someone or being hurt by someone too stupid to understand you._

Was this person someone like that? Catra wasn't sure at the time, but why else would she be out here?

_I'd imagine that they'd feel a lot safer and happier if they had someone in their lives who knew what it was like to live like that._

Catra let out a frustrated sigh. The Horde considered having too much of a conscience to be a weakness, so surviving meant having to keep it squashed. Now she was outside of the Horde, it had grown, and had an annoying habit of sounding like Angella.

The strange person didn't hear the first pointed cough Catra gave in her direction, nor the second one. She was too engrossed in observing the party and speaking her thoughts into a recorder she was holding. It was here that Catra's mischievous side came out. For when a tendril of hair snaked down to grab a cupcake, it found that the plate was missing.

"-huh?"

The long haired girl was broken from her fixation by the missing plate, but it didn't take her too long to find it. When she saw it held out to her by a grinning, tuxedo clad Catra, she tried to say something, but found herself a little tongue tied by the situation. It was up to Catra to take the initiative:

"So, I was wondering," a rolling purr came out of Catra's throat, "Would you like someone to help you spy on people?"

The long haired girl's face broke first into a smile, and then a grin so big it looked like it could grow to engulf her whole face. 

"YES!"

Catra was taken a back when two tendrils of hair lifted her on top of the hedge, but when the strange girl joined her swiftly afterwards she acted like she didn't mind. 

Catra wasn't sure, listening to the girl start talking about observing people's patterns of social interaction, when precisely the point was that she was listening to this girl less because her guilt and conscience thought it was the right thing to do and more because she genuinely liked the girl's company. In the end though, a good evening was had by all.

\---

Adora wasn't sure whether she should have been annoyed or amused at her captive. The prison cell of the camp was as informal as you'd expect: her forces had found a small network of caves, and until the materials for building a proper forward base were available, they were having to make do fortifying the caves as best as they could. The prison cell was relatively secure: the door was salvaged from a village that an earlier Horde raid had destroyed before being quickly fixed by the Horde carpenters; the manacles were attached to the cave wall firmly enough that Adora couldn't remove them without becoming She-Ra; and even the electric lantern, though connected to the jury rigged system Adora's forces had installed in the cave, should have been safely out of reach of anyone who had been manacled to the wall.

This is all worth emphasising, because none of this was stopping the purple haired princess that should have been imprisoned there. 

The first time Adora had her manacled to the wall, she had turned her back to leave only to see that her captive had left her chains and immediately began investigating the cell's electric light, babbling a stream of questions aimed at anyone and no one in particular about it. That is not to say she "escaped"- that implies a level of seriousness and effort that her captive neither had nor appeared to need. When Adora had glared at her, she had apologised like not being in chains was simply like being a little rude and had promptly put herself back in the manacles. 

Adora had left the door to the cell triple locked, only to find that barely 10 minutes later the princess had caught up to her and after an apology about being unable to wait the stream of questions had begun again. At this point, Adora had decided the best way of containing her captive was simply to give her an audience and something to play with. She had given the princess a spare lantern to dismantle whilst ordering Kyle to stay in her cell and do his best to answer the princess' questions. This tactic appeared to have worked like a charm: when Adora was able to return to interrogate the princess, she was still in her cell with a Kyle who was far more confused and frazzled than when Adora had left him but was otherwise unharmed.

After dismissing Kyle from his current guard duty, Adora had given a pointed cough in the princess's direction. The princess hadn't noticed Adora enter the room, having been engrossed by the lantern: taking it apart with her hands whilst coils of her hair held up the lantern's components for her to inspect at a closer range. With Adora's cough, the princess put the lantern back together in a blur of movement and a moment later her prehensile hair was locking the manacles around her wrists.

The interrogation had already got off to an awkward start: the fact that the princess was not meaningfully imprisoned whilst confusingly also not being hostile to Adora in the slightest meant that every assumption behind basic common sense questioning techniques was essentially thrown out of the window. Perhaps it was this that made Adora pause long enough for the princess to hit the point where she was unable to contain her curiousity:

"So you're She-Ra? You're shorter than normal! What do you use to change? No- wait, I've got it! The sword- that's First One technology! With its princess powers contained... In its gem? A similar principle to the rune stones the elemental princesses use to power their... No wait, I know! If you're She-Ra, then that also means that you're Adora!"

"You've heard of me?" Adora couldn't help but smirk. This interrogation was easily the strangest she had been involved in, and in spite of herself she couldn't help but have a soft spot for the innocent attitude and curious eyes of her prisoner. 

"Catra talks about you."

And suddenly Adora found herself without a voice: all the questions she had intended to ask the princess had disappeared from her mind, instead she found herself all too aware of the pounding of her heart beat and the cold sweat on her palms. When she spoke again, her line of questioning was dramatically different:

"You... Know Catra?"

"YES! She's... Probably the only person that listens to me! That _wants_ to listen to me. I'm not sure if she always understands me, but she always tries to. I mean, she's the _only_ person that thought my robots were cute and that my traps were a good idea! Before the whole war against the Horde thing she'd visit Dryl whenever she could and now with the war I get to see her _everyday_! And..."

The princess carried on talking, but Adora had already zoned out on her precise words and had instead started to note what she was really saying. Adora saw the blush spread across the princess's cheeks and her smile widen with passion; noted the sheer intensity and excited volume of her speech. With this, Adora knew that she was no longer alone in Catra's heart. 

Adora _wanted_ to hate her prisoner. Adora _wanted_ a reason to feel that this princess was a real evil and not a... misguided person that needed to be taught the value of order and civilisation that the Horde would bring to the world. But as Adora looked into the princess's innocent eyes, she couldn't find the hatred within herself that she needed to justify her jealousy. Other than the lawlessness that was the norm outside of the Fright Zone and therefore something that was not really the princess's fault as such, her only crime was falling in love with Catra: a crime that Adora was very much guilty of herself.

At first, the princess's words were background noise to Adora's private thoughts. Adora started listening to the princess again when something caught her attention:

"She misses you. I mean, she was missing you before we started fighting the war, and I guess its a bit weird that she's missing you when she's meeting you whenever she's on the front lines but still..."

Adora's heart suddenly leapt for joy; her doubts and melancholy crumbled from the understanding that Catra's heart may still have room in it for her. When a gap turned up in the princess's one person conversation, Adora made good use of it:

"Your name's Entrapta, right?" Adora's finger had moved up to the princess's lips, allowing the gap to be large enough for Adora to speak and take charge of the conversation again.

"Yes!"

"Entrapta," Adora's voice softened as her hand moved to cup Entrapta's chin "Once all this is over, once the Horde has won, we're going to have to have a talk. You, me and Catra. We're going to have to talk about... Us."

"Oh I agree. When Catra wins, we should talk about us."

"I'm sorry Entrapta, but the Rebellion can't win. Even now it-" Adora had an idea for a speech, about how Bright Moon only stands because of the Whispering Woods, how the Sea Gate will inevitably fall, about how even as the times get more and more desperate the princess kingdoms can't help but waste resources on extravagances and luxuries whereas the Horde remains perfectly efficient- a steel fist striking with elegant motion. Adora had that idea, but a strand of Entrapta's hair pressed against Adora's lips as Adora's finger had previously quieted Entrapta, and Entrapta pointed corrected her:

"Ah- I didn't say the _Rebellion_ would win. I said _Catra_ would win."

Adora blinked as the tendril of hair was removed. At this point, she couldn't deny that the purple haired princess had a way of making her speechless.

"You... Have a lot of faith in Catra."

"Don't you?"

\---

Catra was in unfamiliar territory socially speaking. It wasn't that she hadn't seen Entrapta upset before. Afterall, the second time she met Entrapta she had found the princess away from the party, hiding away in a closet and with a flood of tears dripping down her face. Recalling how Angella would comfort her, Catra had climbed into that closet with her, holding and stroking her hair. When she had found out who the culprit was, Catra's first impulse was to claw his eyes out, but figuring that would upset Angella, Catra decided to compromise by slipping laxative into his drink. 

This time was different. It was first time she had visited Entrapta's castle in Dryl, six months after first meeting her. She was pleasantly surprised by the traps and labyrinth that Entrapta had built ("It's about time I visited a castle with decent defences"); and was genuinely impressed by all of the robots the castle had ("You built all of these yourself?!"). But in depths of Entrapta's sanctum, hidden away from the world, she had noticed when Entrapta grew nervous. 

When Catra had been sat down in the castle's workshop, Entrapta had pulled out an old tape, stuck it in her player, and asked if Catra could listen to it. Catra wasn't sure what to make of this at first: Entrapta didn't get nervous and was rarely afraid as such, yet when Catra looked into Entrapta's eyes she looked more vulnerable than Catra had ever seen her. Entrapta looked genuinely worried- afraid.

With a breath, Catra closed her eyes confused and in thought. When she opened them a moment later, Angella's words to her before she met Entrapta had echoed through her, and she knew that this was one of those times when Entrapta was afraid of hurting her or being hurt should Catra turn out to be too stupid to understand her. 

When she pressed play on the tape, Catra silently promised herself that whatever came to be, Entrapta would not come out of this hurt.

"So settling in to the castle log 1. My first log! Well, first log in my new home. I mean, I think there's a lot of room for improvement, but since-" When Catra first heard the voice, she was confused. It was far deeper and rougher than the Entrapta she knew. "Since I'm not going to be getting many visitors, I've got all the time in the world. It would be nice for mama and papa to come down but... Well... I can build a new mama and papa! I can build a whole palace staff! I can do... Basically whatever I want! Be a princess and be a scientist..."

Catra stopped the tape. In all honesty, had Entrapta not handed her the tape, Catra would not have clocked the voice as having once belonged to Entrapta... But then, did anyone else have a way of speaking quite like that? 

"This is you right?"

Entrapta nodded.

"My parents wanted a prince, but I couldn't be that for them. So they gave me an old castle they didn't need anymore and they- ahh- left me on my own!" Entrapta was definitely keeping her voice upbeat, but there was a hollowness to it. 

"They... Left you on your own." Catra, by contrast, could barely keep her anger out of her voice.

"Well... Yeah."

It was all Catra could do to stop herself from raging at Entrapta's parents. But she knew enough about Entrapta by this point to know that intense rage in general tended to upset her (was that something else to thank Entrapta parents for?) and so, remembering her promise to herself earlier, she tried a gentler approach.

"Entrapta, I spent 14 years with a parent that did this to me," Catra moved the fur on her lower arm, revealing a long ugly scar, "and another 2 with a parent who was actually good. So, I know about what's bad and what's good in a parent. And I know that you don't just ditch someone for not being what you want them to be."

Entrapta's eyes bulged with shock at Catra's scar. 

"But... You obviously had it a lot worse than me! I mean... Mama and papa... I mean... They didn't give me that!"

"Yeah, but I got out. And I found people that loved me and... Would try to understand me you know? From what you've told me... Was there anyone else? Did you have anyone to talk to when your parents left you? I mean, really talk to?"

Entrapta's silence spoke volumes to Catra. 

"Look... I'm not gonna lie." Catra gently began pulling Entrapta into a hug. "I'm not good at this. You didn't do this sort of thing in the Fright Zone... And when it did happen, it was something... Someone else gave to me, not something I did. But... Well, you've got someone now. Okay?"

Entrapta relaxed into Catra's hug, her hair coiling around Catra's body.

"Can I tell you something Catra?"

"Well... I did say you've got someone to talk to now."

"I... Showed you that tape because I wanted to be honest to you because... I well... I mean... I like you. A lot."

Catra glanced down at Entrapta. The princess was blushing, and couldn't meet Catra's gaze. Not wanting to lead her on but also wanting to be honest, Catra gently pulled out of the hug.

"I like you a lot too. But... I've got a lot of baggage and... Messed up feelings..."

"Is there someone else?"

" _Was_ someone else. I don't even know if they're still alive or if they still remember me. But... Back in the Fright Zone, you manipulate people right? You had to if you didn't want to die. And... I've been doing it so long that... Even now, when I'm not talking with anyone who's not you or Glimmer or Angella or Bow... I'll start treating them like something I can get something out of. Or something I can make go away if I push the right buttons. And... I won't realise I'm doing it until half way through doing it."

Catra was fully out of the hug, but a tendril of Entrapta's hair gently coiled around her hand. 

"And... Well, I like you. But... Until I'm either a good person or until I can forget about that someone else... I don't want to start something only to realise I'm just getting something I want from you midway through. You deserve better than that."

"You _are_ a good person. But... If you're worried I can wait. And... I'll still be here when you've figured out your baggage." Entrapta voice rang with complete sincerity, which only made Catra more worried about disappointing her. "Until then... Friends?"

"Friends." Catra knew she could agree on that.

"So... Do you want to talk about this someone else?"

\---

"I FAILED HER!" 

Somewhere in their conversation about Catra, Adora's captive had struck a nerve. She had been insistent that Adora had rescued Catra, but Adora knew better. That knowledge had been clawing at Adora's mind and soul for years. There was no way she wasn't going to react badly.

But seeing her captive become scared for the first time since they met gave Adora pause. So Adora took a breath, allowed herself a moment of calm, and started again:

"I didn't rescue Catra. Not really. And I was never really protecting her. Shadow Weaver kept hurting her... And all I did were... Half measures. I was too weak. I was too weak to even put Shadow Weaver in her place, yet alone kill her. And my weakness meant I failed Catra again and again and again."

Entrapta no longer looked scared. Adora took this to mean that she was getting through to her.

"I mean... I could fight off all the bullies... And I could try to tell Shadow Weaver to be nicer... But who set those bullies on Catra in the first place? Who decided to make it clear that anyone could get away with hurting her? I never protected Catra. I was too weak. I could only... Make her suffering survivable... And when I couldn't even do that I could only take her away from our home. I failed Catra. I never rescued her."

Adora couldn't quite read the expression that Entrapta had on her face. She had the feeling that it was pity.

"But I am strong enough now. Shadow Weaver loses favour with Hordak with every conquest I make. Soon I'll be able to kill her. And then? And then Catra... She can come home again. And the Horde can build a place with a home for everyone! Where the weak can be made strong... Where everyone that can't fit in will be given a place to call home and comrades to call a family."

A strand of Entrapta's hair gently coiled around Adora's hand. Adora couldn't help but frown. Was the princess trying to comfort her?

"Catra already gave me that."

Adora wasn't sure how she was going to respond to that. Whatever response she had was cut short when the ground beneath her began to shake and an earsplitting noise burst through the air. As Adora had gathered that something had exploded, her prisoner remained frustratingly upbeat:

"And that'll be her!"


	5. Big Sister I

The confrontation didn't quite go how anyone expected it to go. When Adora was given a ship and ordered to give the Sea Gate a good kick, she had assumed that some forces from the Rebellion would try to intervene. In light of how they seemed to be everywhere, she was not surprised by Catra and Glimmer being the dastardly duo who'd teleport in to oppose her. The fact that they brought a third scoundrel- a moustachioed pirate of some sort- along with them was also unsurprising: although the Rebellion seemed more misguided than evil it was inevitable that they'd attract various scum and villainy to their cause.

No, none of these were the unexpected factor. 

The unexpected factor was one who Adora trusted and brought with her. In all fairness, Adora would later think that she shouldn't have been surprised that when Catra, Glimmer and their pirate friend teleported on board; that her unexpected factor would charge forward with a strong desire to hug and a:

"Aww cutie!"

None of the boarders were expecting this either. The pirate bolted to the side and disappeared beneath the decks. Glimmer had started to dodge but had stopped when she realised that the burly scorpion woman had almost no hostile intentions. Catra had been preparing to give a suitably flirty, catty speech to Adora, and had been completely caught off guard by Scorpia picking her up and spinning her around and around in a crushing cuddle.

"I get it now Adora. I didn't get it before, but I get it now." Scorpia ignored Catra trying to squirm out of her hug as she stopped spinning to address Adora. "She's just so cute! I mean, I could kind of see why you kept beating yourself up over fighting her, but the pining? The hours you spent writing and rewriting those letters? _The poetry_?"

Catra tried even more desperately to escape Scorpia's overly affectionate grasp, while Adora blushed with embarrassment and tried to suppress the urge to hide her face in her hands. Glimmer, however, was having none it:

"Oh for First One's sake!"

In a blur of sparkles, Glimmer reappeared crouched on Scorpia's shoulder. A heartbeat and a blur of sparkles later, and Catra had been teleported out of Scorpia's hug. Scorpia didn't get a chance to properly pin where on the ship Catra had been teleported to, as another heartbeat later her vision was full of sparkles again and Glimmer was glaring up at her, having a few choice words:

"That's my sister she's _lusting_ after!" Glimmer punctuated her words by stabbing a finger into Scorpia's belly.

" _Lusting_? I'll have you know that Adora's love is _pure_ and _innocent_!" Scorpia had always felt that pointing at people was very rude, but since Glimmer had started it she had no problem shoving the blunt end of a pincer into Glimmer's shoulder.

"LUSTING!"

"PURE AND INNOCENT!"

"Uh, could you guys take it slightly to the right please?"

Whilst Glimmer and Scorpia had been arguing, Adora had become She-Ra, and was aiming her sword in the direction of the Sea Gate. However, Adora had then met with the slight problem of her big sister and hopeful future sister-in-law in just the right spot to be hit with her blast first.

"Oh, uh, sorry Adora." Scorpia tried not to sound sheepish as she picked up the increasingly irate Glimmer.

\---

As close as they'd be later in life, Scorpia had first met Adora almost entirely out of chance.

Scorpia had been intending to just grab a shower before spending the rest of the day trying to sleep her bruises away. She was a prospective force captain, and her afternoon training had become more and more brutal to match this. She'd kept up with it, and honestly didn't bear any ill will towards anyone for it, but when she left the training room that afternoon she was not going out of her way to find a new friend.

Reality, as it turned out, had other ideas.

For as Scorpia marched her aching legs back home, she came across someone who made her change her plans for the evening completely.

The girl wasn't paying any attention to Scorpia. She wasn't really paying attention to anything: her back slumped against the wall of the corridor, knees tucked in and body curled up as if to hide itself from the world. "Loitering", as the enforcers of Horde discipline would call it. Scorpia, however, knew better than that. She knew the eyes of someone that had just given up. 

And so, her plans forgotten and working almost entirely on instinct, Scorpia approached the girl with the gentlest smile she could and a:

"Hey, is that seat taken?"

It did occur to Scorpia that the Horde may not approve of rewarding the weak with such gentle treatment... But then, Scorpia wasn't much of a believer in the Horde so to speak. Her family was on good terms with Hordak of course, at least in so far as renters will always try to stay on good terms with their land lords. As for Scorpia herself, well she had been to Princess Prom before and whilst she knew she could miss a lot of things when talking with people, she... She knew when she wasn't welcome, and for all of its faults, she never never experienced that in the Horde.

The girl didn't respond to Scorpia's question, but Scorpia's eyes saw the girl stiffen, unused to attempted kindness. Scorpia considered taking that as a "no", but then thought a little more about what eventually happens to people who've given up on everything. Even if the Horde's attempts to purge its weakness didn't get them, Scorpia knew that a person could only take so much self neglect until there wasn't a person left to neglect. 

Filled with determination, Scorpia sat down next to the girl, but tried to keep herself outside of the girl's personal space. The girl didn't have her back exposed, the Horde uniform she wore being more or less in one piece, but Scorpia could tell from the girl's posture that her back had been on the receiving end of the Horde's "justice". In these situations, Scorpia knew to be gentle.

"... It was your first time right?"

That got the girl's attention- she was still silent, but she was actually looking at Scorpia. 

"Facing the lash I mean. It hurts a lot the first time, but you get used to it, and until then, I think I may have something for it back in my bunk."

"It doesn't hurt."

The girl's response was curt, her voice giving away that it was less that the scars down her back didn't hurt and more that she didn't care that they hurt.

"If its not that, then would you like to talk about what it is?"

The girl didn't respond to Scorpia's question.

"Hey, its okay if you don't want to talk about it. But someone's going to have to look at those scars on your back, and I did say I've got something for at my bunk, so... Do you want to come with me?"

Scorpia tried for the biggest, warmest smile she could manage, pincer held out to the girl. The girl at first seemed dead to the world. But after a moment of consideration, she put her hand in Scorpia's pincer: following Scorpia's lead without complaint.

Neither Scorpia nor the girl spoke when walking to Scorpia's bunk: the only noise the thunk of their boots on the hard floors of the corridors and the hum of the corridor's electric lighting. The first either of them spoke was in Scorpia's bunk: with Scorpia having sat the girl down on her bunk. Scorpia's squad mates weren't there, probably given extra training or check ups to occupy their time whilst Scorpia trained to be Force Captain; so the constant, dim hum of the electric lights was the only thing Scorpia's voice interrupted:

"I'm not going to lie, I'm a little clumsy with these things" Scorpia held up a pincer to demonstrate, "so this is gonna take a little longer than you'd think."

The girl grunted in response, pulling her top off and exposing her back for Scorpia to work her magic on. Scorpia's eyes widened with horror. There were scars from her first taste of the lash, but though these were fresh scars they weren't the latest wounds on the girl's back. Her latest ones looked similar to the shallow cuts and painful welts of the lash, but the wounds were coated with ink black. _Liquid shadow_.

"You... Got on Shadow Weaver's bad side huh?"

Scorpia knew she had said the wrong thing before the girl started crying. Scorpia tried to comfort her:

"Hey its okay. _Everyone_ gets on Shadow Weaver's bad side. I swear that woman doesn't _have_ a good side. I mean, you should hear what my mom says about her and she _never_ says a bad thing about anyone-"

"She used to like me. Or... She liked what she could make me into. I think she still does... She just... Got frustrated... But it doesn't hurt. So its okay." The girl got her words out as clearly as she could through her tears.

"If it doesn't hurt then why are you crying?" Scorpia's voice was as soft as she could manage, a pincer placed gently over the girl's hand.

"I'm not crying for me. I'm... Crying for my friend."

Scorpia thought for a moment about this. 

"I think that, if you want me to understand... You should take it from the top. I mean, if that's okay with you."

The girl was silent at first. When she did start speaking, she started slowly, trying to keep enough of the sorrow out of her voice for her to be understood:

"Shadow Weaver... Raised me and my... _friend_ Catra. Shadow Weaver loved me, but kept... Kept hurting Catra. I wanted her to stop... But..." The past feelings of futility overwhelmed the girl's voice. When Scorpia moved her arm around her shoulder, careful to avoid the girl's scars, pulling her into a gentle hug, the girl found the will to continue: "I failed. Or... Didn't risk trying... But Catra survived. She was good at it. Only... Shadow Weaver got really angry with her. Really angry... The kind of angry that... Catra _couldn't_ survive. So... She had to go to the... The one place Shadow Weaver... Couldn't get her... So... I snuck her out to the Whispering Woods... But now she's on her own and probably dead and _its all my fault_."

The girl's tears came back in full force: the girl's body moving deeper into Scorpia's hug as she cried into Scorpia's chest. Scorpia stroked the girl's head as gently as she could manage with her pincers as she thought about what she had learned. Scorpia could guess that Catra was more than a "friend", and between what the girl had just told her and what she had already picked from her squad's gossip she could guess a little more:

"You're Adora right?" The girl had mostly finished crying when Scorpia decided to try a question.

The girl nodded.

"Well... Its like my Mom says: you can't do everything at once. If you don't have the power to do something then... You just have to get that power, but until then you can only do your best. You can't change what happened, but I think you did your best."

Adora didn't look convinced.

"I mean, you're not going to help anyone from Shadow Weaver hurting you to-"

"That's okay. I just... Couldn't do... I couldn't do training anymore. Not with Catra gone. Shadow Weaver just got... Frustrated with me. Its nothing like what she'd do to Catra."

Scorpia tried to ignore the horrifying implications of what Adora just said, keeping her mind focussed on making sure this one didn't end up the same way.

"Yeah... But you're not going to help anyone like this. Catra will not be the last person Shadow Weaver hurts. Not until you've got the power to stop her."

Adora was now taking notice.

"I mean, you don't have the power now, but you're not going to get it if you don't survive. You just have to make it a bit longer... Just until you have that moment to seize or until you've just grown enough that Shadow Weaver can't touch you."

Scorpia broke from the cuddle, pulling a note pad and pencil from her trunk and scribbling furiously.

"Tell you what, here are the frees in my training and work. If you need some help, or to talk or just... _Someone_ , I'll be here. Just come down them and, no matter what, I _will_ be here for you."

Scorpia passed the note over to Adora. On one side of the note was a list of Scorpia's free periods, but what caught Adora's eye was on the other side of the note: a hastily drawn, smiling stick figure, its pincer arms opening for a hug and the words "Big Sister?" written beneath in cheerful, hopeful letters.

"Now, I think I should get to work fixing your back. Afterall, I did say I would!"

Adora was quiet for the rest of the evening, but Scorpia chattered on: talking about her family and her squad and the finer points of patching up a wound. Adora was slightly more talkative the next time she visited: she was going through the motions, but was a bit more functional. She talked about visiting the Whispering Woods to remember Catra. Scorpia figured it would be good for Adora to properly grieve, and offered to cover for her whenever she could. 

It was a good thing to. Afterall, when Adora came back from one of her visits with a sword and news that Scorpia was not the only princess fighting for the Horde, Scorpia knew Adora had found that power she had told her to look for.

\---

Scorpia wasn't there for the official surrender of Plumeria. She had got into a... Little entanglement with a Rebellion messenger on the way, so she hadn't seen the official signing nor the speech She-Ra had given afterwards. In all fairness, it didn't seem like to big a deal after she had seen all the backroom decisions and politics that led to it. 

It went a bit like this: the people of Plumeria weren't really fighters, but they had maintained stubbornly resisted due to a thousand and one prophesies and ancient tales of She-Ra coming to their rescue. The rest is so obvious that it hardly needs to be said: Plumeria's morale more or less collapsed over night.

Still, in spite of knowing all this Scorpia had wanted to be there for Adora, and when she wasn't able to be there she did at least want to check up on her. The fact that the Rebellion messenger had given her a perfect excuse to do so just made Scorpia all the more eager to visit Adora's war tent.

The war tent had been set up away from the Horde's main base of operations: among the main Plumerian... _Settlement_ was perhaps the best word for it, with the place feeling more like a giant garden with huts than a city as Scorpia would understand it. The war tent certainly stood out: industrial grey splattered on a collage of blue skies and earthy brown soil, of flowers of a thousand vivid colours and of course the ever present deepest green. 

Leaving her squad to rest up, Scorpia marched into the tent:

"Adora are you-"

"Shhh"

Scorpia was surprised by what she saw more than being shushed. Adora was still She-Ra, but there was no apparent need for combat. The light chair she'd sit in when using her tent as an office was empty, with Adora sitting on her flat bed with the princess of Plumeria lying down with her head using Adora's lap as a pillow. The wet stains across Adora's tunic suggested that Perfuma had been crying into it before Adora had calmed her down.

Scorpia wondered if Adora knew how intimate this looked, but soon dismissed the idea: this was Adora after all. She didn't bring it up, and instead carried on more quietly:

"Are you okay Adora?"

"I'm fine."

"Sorry I missed the surrender. And your speech. And... Well, I wasn't here to help you with..." Scorpia gestured to the sleeping Perfuma. 

"Its fine." Adora quieted the chuckle in her voice, giving Scorpia the impression of chimes softly ringing in the wind. "She was just scared, for her people and herself. I was able to... reassure her."

Scorpia suggestively raised her eyebrow at this, but Adora completely missed this. Of course there wasn't any intended innuendo in Adora "reassuring" the princess... But Scorpia knew that at some point she'd have to tease Adora about it: if only a little.

Adora meanwhile was struck by a thought:

"Why were you late any way? Its not like you to miss stuff."

"Heh, about that." Scorpia pulled out a scroll case and handed it to Adora. "We bumped into a Rebellion messenger. Guy with a bow and a heart on his chest... Seemed like a nice guy actually... But anyway, he got away, but we got his message. It's in code I think. But... Hey, we got something am I right?"

Adora gave an agreeable nod, before putting the scroll to the side.

"Do you want to sit down? There is something I'd like to talk to you about."

"Yeah, sure Adora." Scorpia pulled up the force captain's chair and carefully sat on it. "What's up?"

"Its about-" Adora gave a nod to the princess asleep on her lap. "She's scared, she's lonely, she needs someone to help her. Would you... Be able to take her under your wing?"

"I think she'd prefer to be with you." Scorpia chuckled. 

"I know she would, but I've got Shadow Weaver watching my every move: if I took her under my wing as much as she needs someone to then Shadow Weaver would decide that she's a target. And... There's so much good we can do here. For her and for her people and... Even the world. You know she has power over plants? Could you think about what we could do if her princess power was combined with our technology? We could feed the whole world! But... If we want her to help us, its only right that we help her first. And, we are doing all this to help people so... Please?"

Adora gave her unofficial big sister the best puppy eyes she could, but really, she didn't have to.

"Aww, you _know_ I can't say no to you."

The truth is... Scorpia would be lying if she said that she was a believer in the Horde was doing these days. She didn't think she was a bad person really, just... Someone doing the best she could with what she had. A lot of the better Horde officers were like that: some fell back on personal honour in all things; others, when their conscience started acting up, just closed their eyes and remembered all their friends and family and comrades they'd be hurting by breaking ranks. Scorpia wasn't either of those. 

Instead, she believed in Adora.


	6. Big Sister II

Glimmer had decided that she was not having a good day. She actually had a soft spot for the pirate they were sailing with, and honestly she had survived worse plans than distracting the Horde ship's crew whilst Sea Hawk figured out how to set a metal ship on fire, so despite having a few initial reservations when she first met him Sea Hawk probably wasn't the problem. 

She was a little worried about Entrapta's attempts to fix up the Sea Gate: the princess was essentially learning how the gate worked in the process of fixing it, and had flatly said that even if she could get it working perfectly that She-Ra would probably still be able to use her connection with First One technology to turn it off with a single hit. That said, Glimmer had dealt with and come to expect these kind of odds, so as much as this wasn't helping it was not the point where she decided that this was a bad day.

Meanwhile, having to deal with a wannabe-honourable enemy lusting after her sister was definitely not something Glimmer liked, but _apparently_ it was something she had to get used to. No, the point where Glimmer decided to that was a bad day was _being picked up_ on that enemy's orders. Needless to say, Glimmer was not a happy bunny:

"ENOUGH!"

The burly scorpion woman had only picked her up for a moment when, a burst of sparkles later, the pair were no longer on the ship. Glimmer gave out a frustrated growl as Scorpia found herself alarmingly high in the air above the open sea. The shock was enough for Scorpia to let go of her captive, who with another burst of sparkles left Scorpia to fall into the sea.

Adora had barely reacted when she was tackled from behind; a mocking, very much out of patience " _Hey Adora_ " being snarled from a voice that really didn't go with those words. Adora's vision filled with sparkles, and like Scorpia she was dropped onto the open sea.

Glimmer's wrath faded as teleported back to the ship; a dry chuckle greeting her return.

"Remind me not to get on your bad side sis." Catra had been safely atop the ship's smoke stack during Glimmer's teleport rampage, but had climbed down to greet her; her grin letting Glimmer know that her comment was meant as the highest possible praise.

"What can I say," Glimmer's anger left completely as her voice filled with faux modesty. "I learned from the best."

\---

"Uh, Catra? I think I need some help"

Catra wasn't actually asleep in the rafters of Brightmoon, but whenever she was up there people generally assumed that she was asleep, so she knew that Bow probably had an important reason to call up to her. She had actually been reading: the Horde taught their cadets to read but never taught them reading as a fulfilling activity in and of itself. Angella had suggested that she try reading when she needed a quiet activity and, as with most things Angella suggested, Catra had dismissed it loudly whilst quietly looking into it the moment she thought no one was looking. 

"I'll be down in a minute Bow."

Catra put her current book back into the impromptu shelf made when in the cranny where the rafter met the wall and quickly looked over here small collection of "borrowed" books. The book on Brightmoon law which Catra had been reading was utterly dull, but as Catra had figured out that laws were basically words that could be used to get away with stuff she had thought it would be useful to learn a little more about them.

The book on military strategy had been borrowed out of curiousity, only for Catra to give up reading it in a fit of guilt. Stuff that the writer of the book had written for people over 20 had been taught to 10 year olds in the Horde whilst screening the cadets for potential officers: hitting home for Catra how fundamentally unprepared her victims (now her family) would have been if she stayed with the Horde.

If she was honest though, Catra's favourite book was the anthology of Just So stories: stories meant to be read to children about how the leopard got her spots or how a giant crab created the tides or how the bat learnt to fly. Catra wasn't much of a reader, even with Angella's suggestion, but every now and then something would make her angry or sad or make her remember _something_ from the Fright Zone, and she'd feel too guilty to go to Angella about it. So, she would read a Just So story, and with its soft, gentle tone, its lush pictures and its addressing its reader as "best beloved", it would comfort her in a way that Catra could pretend was like a real parent.

Catra was distracted by her books momentarily before she heard Bow calling for her again. With only a scuttle and a silent pounce she had climbed down from the rafters and behind Bow.

"Hey Bow."

Bow almost jumped in surprise at Catra appearing behind him as Catra stifled a laugh. As much as she liked Bow, Catra had to admit that she liked giving him a little scare every now and then. Bow quickly recovered, now more or less used to Catra's stealthy "hellos", and continued as if nothing had happened:

"Catra! Glimmer needs your help _right away_." Bow then leaned towards Catra to stage whisper: "I think I'm out of my depth here, because she _really_ needs someone to, I don't know, teach her enemies fear or something..."

Catra couldn't help but laugh a little at Bow's request. She had only been a member of Glimmer's family for 2 months or so, but she had already earned the role of the slightly scary big sister that Bow and Glimmer never knew they wanted. 

"You know Bow, I'm pretty sure _you_ could teach Glimmer's enemies fear if you really wanted to. You're a lot tougher than you think..."

"Trust me, this is a Catra mission... Though we need to snap Glimmer out of her, uh, _panic_."

"Look Bow, I could do with knowing what this is about..."

"You know those invitations to Princess Minerva's party we received? We think their less _party invitations_ and more _veiled threat_..."

"Really? I know I just got one of Glimmer's plus ones, but I didn't spot anything-"

"Trust me. Its in the message to Glimmer- if you read between the lines and know that Minerva's... _targetted_ Glimmer before..."

Catra sighed. She had been on the business end of this kind of behaviour in the Fright Zone after Shadow Weaver had made it clear that anyone could get away with it; but in the princess kingdoms it tended to be subtler and made more complicated by the authorities looking down on ending it with a threat or a fist fight or a knife between someone's ribs. She was originally not intending to go to Minerva's party... But now she was having other ideas.

"I'm guessing just not going has its own problems?"

"Yeah. If we go to Minerva's party, Glimmer walks strait into whatever Minerva has planned for her. If we don't... Minerva will think that Glimmer's too scared to challenge her and will step up, you know... Everything she's been doing since she found out how easily she could push Glimmer's buttons."

"Alright Bow: I think I've got an idea. Take me to Glimmer."

When the pair did find Glimmer she wasn't panicking as such anymore: she had retreated to her room, curled up in a foetal position atop her bed and seemingly dead to the world. 

"Hey Glimmer." Catra scratchy voice came out softly, trying to get Glimmer's attention as gently as she could. She was not prepared for Glimmer's speedy reaction.

"CATRA!" Glimmer teleported up close, her scared face inches away from Catra's own. "What do I do!?" Glimmer teleported to between Catra and Bow. "If I go First One's know what she'll do to me..." Glimmer teleported back up to her bed. "... And if I stay First One's know what she'll do to me later!" Glimmer teleported back up close to Catra. "And-"

"Glimmer calm down. I've got a plan."

Glimmer didn't really calm down much at Catra's request, but she stopped her fear fuelled teleporting and started listening.

"We're going to the party." Catra saw that Glimmer was about to protest, so she carried on a little quicker: "Minerva thinks you'll be trapped in that party with her. I think she'll be trapped in there with us."

"But- wait you're going to Minerva's party?"

"Yep." Catra left the why that Glimmer had implied unanswered. She thought about telling Glimmer that she had seen what people like Minerva eventually do to their victims if no one was around to stop them; that as long as she lived she would _not_ allow anyone to do that to Glimmer. But that was a conversation Catra wasn't ready to have yet, so instead she diverted the question: "Whatever she has planned, she won't have planned for me being there. And if she hasn't planned properly for me being there she won't have planned for the two people that were brave enough to take me prisoner."

"Catra- I was terrified of you before you decided to become my prisoner..."

"That's still better than Minerva." Catra chuckled. " _You_ are better than Minerva. And with me and Bow helping you? I can promise that Minerva won't hurt you. Do you trust me?"

Glimmer paused, Bow and Catra holding their breaths as Glimmer's conflicted eyes stared back into Catra's, before:

"Yes. I- I trust you Catra." Glimmer started unsteady but grew more certain with every word.

"Yes! The Best Friend Squad is ready for action!" Bow pulled Catra and Glimmer into a hug- innocent enthusiasm bursting forth. A moment later, something gave him pause, a nitpick of uncertainty entered his voice: "But uh... Catra, if you're going to a party you're going to need something to wear..."

"Do you have a spare tuxedo?"

\---

"Look Catra. This. Is. A disaster!" Glimmer spilled a whole day's worth of frustration at her sister, who for some reason was still able to act annoyingly enigmatic. "Plumeria surrendered. As in: _surrendered_. I don't know what you think we can get from this, but all we can do is suck it up and bring the bad news back to Mom."

Glimmer's voice echoed down the cave the best friend squad had taken shelter in. Entrapta's snores could be heard from deeper in the cave: after quickly encoding the message, Catra had tucked her into her sleeping bag and ear muffs and let her to get some rest whilst they waited for Bow to return. It was still day: where Glimmer and Catra were sat they could see the crystal bright light of the glade tumble through the mouth of the cave; but as Catra had plans for an attack in the dead of the night, and so had convinced Entrapta to get some sleep whilst she could. Glimmer had not been so easy to convince.

"I'm not setting up camp here because I like the scenery here," Catra dropped only a little of her former smugness as she spoke. "I've got a plan. And we only have to stay a few days... Just long enough to do what the Horde expects us to do."

"... You're really good at being annoying you know." 

Catra burst out laughing at Glimmer's pout. Glimmer, always one to double down, decided to escalate by sticking her tongue out.

"Alright, you got me sis." Catra struggled to keep the laughter out of her voice. "I guess I should let you in a little more while we're here."

Glimmer relaxed a little. Her face said that this had better be good.

"Most of what we're doing here? Its about convincing the Horde that this is business as normal for the Rebellion. So we're doing a lot of what they _expect_ us to do. The attacks we're going to pull off tomorrow? Its what the Horde would _expect_ the Rebellion to do. The coded message that Bow's making sure they capture? That's what they're expecting. Or at least... Its _mostly_ what they're expecting. The Horde ain't going to buy that little lie I slipped in unless everything else we do here rings true."

"You really think they'll believe that lie?"

"Yeah, 'cause half of the Horde will already think its true."

"You don't know that."

"Trust me on this Glimmer-" Catra started to build up her smugness again, but with a look from Glimmer she stopped. When she spoke again, her voice was measured, _careful_. "Its like this: we've been thinking of the Horde as one big, single thing, with one goal right?"

Glimmer nodded.

"The thing is... Its _not_. Hordak might be the leader, but not everyone is doing what he says because they want what he wants. I mean, you got high ranking people like Shadow Weaver who are with Hordak 'cause they want something else and think that working with Hordak is the best way to get it. Then you've got loads of orphans taken in by the Horde: they're never going to get a big share of the spoils of war, and the way their raised they might not even _learn_ greed in that way. So... They're brought up to believe that they're helping the world. They're brought up to be people like Adora."

"Where's this going Catra?"

"Its a bit of a conflict of interest don't you think?" Catra smiled like a cat that had caught the canary, her smugness back in full force as she played her master stroke. "All these people in the Horde, they ignore this 'cause they're too busy fighting us. But that doesn't mean Hordak hasn't already figured it out. And if he thinks that we've seen evidence of some of his officers actually planning a take over, he's more likely to _force_ that conflict of interest."

Glimmer paused, her disgruntlement put on hold to consider the merits of Catra's plan.

"... Mom won't like it."

"Wait-" Catra stifled a laugh "are you really agreeing with our Mom? Who are you and what have you done with the real Glimmer?"

"This is different from what gets me in trouble with our Mom. This is... I don't know... So... Outside how the Rebellion works that... Look. We protect our world and life, we fall back if we have to, but we contain the Horde. We draw the line in the sand, and fight to stop the Horde from crossing it. This is why the Rebellion is a thing. Everyone in it is working with this strategy. Me and Mom agree on this strategy, I just draw the line in the sand earlier than Mom does-"

"Ha! A _lot_ earlier than our Mom does."

"Okay, yeah, I draw my line in the sand a _lot_ earlier than our Mom does. But... You're not doing that. You're trying to play the Horde off against itself. I mean, you're the first person who knows enough about the Horde to really try this but... Look, _I_ don't know what to think of this. _Who knows_ what Mom will think of it. And what about everyone else in the Rebellion? You remember what Mermista thought of Entrapta's Scorched Seas plan-"

"Hey- Entrapta's plan would have meant that the Sea Gate would have safe from the Horde permanently."

"Yeah: by filling the sea with explosives big enough to take out a ship!"

"You're point?"

"Turning the sea into one big navy killing trap would have been destroying the lands they were trying to protect!"

"They're not going to stay protected for long if the Horde takes them over."

"But we beat them back! And Entrapta was able to fix up the Sea Gate... Kinda"

"That isn't going to be good enough," Catra sighed "I mean, Entrapta fixed up the Sea Gate enough to live through the Horde artillery a bit longer, but its only a matter of time until the Horde decides to concentrate their forces on 1 front instead of 20. When that happens... I don't think Entrapta's patches on the Sea Gate will last long enough. And let's be honest, the Sea Gate's gonna fall even quicker if Adora manages to get a hit on it. What I'm trying to say is... What we've been doing... It can't last. We have to try something new here, because what we've been doing before is not going to work for much longer..."

Catra's words clung on even as she stopped speaking: their challenge hanging on in the quiet. Glimmer paused, unable to find the words to fight the growing silence. When she spoke again, the argument was settled:

"So about these attacks we're planning..."

\---

"So. Am I going to get an explanation as to why Minerva ended up drenched in wine?"

The question echoed around an almost empty throne room that was otherwise as quiet as the grave as Angella levelled a glare at the usual suspects. Bow tried to look as small as he could. Glimmer tried to glare back- wanting to start an argument, but not able to find the right words to strike back with. Catra was acting remarkably interested in the floor. Angella was not amused:

"Well?"

Glimmer's rage had almost hit breaking point, and Bow had preemptively started to tense for the oncoming shouting match. All were surprised when Catra was the one to speak up:

"The wine was part of a trap Minerva set up for Glimmer. But, _mysteriously_ , when Glimmer walked through it, the trap didn't go off. And, _just as mysteriously_ , when Minerva decided to see what was wrong with the trap, it worked perfectly when it went off all over her overpriced dress _in front of her entire party_."

Catra's chuckle died down in the face of Angella's stern gaze.

"Alright. Fine. I didn't know what Minerva had planned when we went to the party, just that she had something planned. When I found out what she planned to do to Glimmer, I disabled the trap to save Glimmer, and reactivated it when I heard her coming back to investigate. It was me." Catra paused, then continued: "But what else was I meant to do? If I didn't properly scare Minerva off she'd have gone after Glimmer again and again and... And I might not be there to protect her next time."

Angella was taken aback for a moment. Though she settled down into another stern look, she was obviously thinking more on the matter. Glimmer and Bow held their breathes, and now Catra's passion had passed she was obviously remembering where her past record of challenging authority figures tended to get her as she held down a shiver and instinctively tensed for whatever pain Angella would come up with.

"Catra, you're acquainted with the Bright Moon guard?"

Angella's tone didn't give Catra any hints as to what was coming for her. Catra's response came out small and a little confused:

"Yeah- I guess"

"Good. The guard are trained in de-escalation in order to keep the peace. I shall arrange for you to be taught this."

"De-escalation?"

"It is about resolving something that could be violent peacefully."

"You mean surrender?"

"No. Its about defusing a confrontation- trying to calm the other person down and deal with the reason that they were behaving violently in the first place."

Catra was speechless. Whilst Catra understood what Angella had said, and after a moment of thought could grasp what Angella had described as an abstract concept; her understanding of what Angella had described only served to make her more confused.

"... Angella that doesn't make any sense."

"Doesn't it?"

"No it- it doesn't make any sense. If someone's trying to fight you, their not going to stop unless they know that they won't win against you. The only way to do that is to fight harder and longer than they do... Until they back down."

Angella raised her eyebrow at this.

"So, when you first met Glimmer, did you act like this?" The challenge in Angella's statement was unavoidable, but it was balanced by Angella's voice becoming far more gentle.

"Well... No-"

"And when you first met me, would you think that it was a good idea to fight harder until I backed down?"

Horror flooded into Catra's face.

"No! I mean-"

"Catra: I want you to understand," Angella moved forward off her throne and cupped Catra's chin, the gentleness in her voice now in full bloom, "this is not a punishment. You acted to protect Glimmer and did the best you could with the tools you had available to you. I am not angry with you. I am _proud_ of you."

As Angella's words sunk in, Catra's eyes had filled with tears. Angella's voice remained soft as a feather as she continued:

"But this has shown me that you need more tools to work with. They may not always be the right tools, but they are ones that you will need at some point in your life, and it is my duty to ensure you are provided with them."

Surging with unfamiliar emotions, Catra shot forward like an arrow and pulled Angella into a tight hug: crying freely into her chest. Glimmer and Bow looked awkwardly at this- not used to the toughest of the trio looking so vulnerable. Angella smiled, stroking Catra's hair until her daughter was finished.

"You won't be alone. Glimmer will be joining you."

"WHAT!?" 

Glimmer had thought that she had evaded her mother's attention. She had thought quite wrongly.

"Given how you were acting earlier, I have a feeling that Catra may have slightly exaggerated her role in Minerva's humiliation in order to protect you. Am I wrong?"

The frustrated growl Glimmer responded with told Angella all she needed to know.

"And Bow."

Bow had thought that he might have escaped, and looked like a deer caught in headlights when he found that Angella was only too happy to correct him on this.

"I think we both know that if both Catra and Glimmer are involved in something then you are always involved as well, if only because you thought you could talk them out of it until there was no backing out. I'll talk to your fathers about this, and I think they'll agree that joining Catra and Glimmer would be best for you."


	7. Enemy? I

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now I've finished this chapter, I'm going to give a warning that it contains a depiction of depression. I didn't intend to write it like that at first (hence why it wasn't tagged), but I suspect I was unintentionally channelling my own experiences with it. Tags will now be added.

Adora could not believe what she was seeing. A day ago, she had been almost entirely certain that Catra was dead. Whatever hopes she had, Adora had been acting as if Catra was dead for a while: remembering her, missing her, making promises of the kind that you make to a loved ones grave. 

And yet in what should have been a routine imposition of order, in what should have been the quick and humane capture of the princess who had challenged her; those same blue and yellow eyes and cunning smile were now standing up to Adora. 

The tone had changed: the princess had made use of Adora being distracted to teleport away; the soldiers who had been cheering as they watched the fight became near silent. Adora barely noticed. A bit of her wondered if she was seeing a vision brought about by her guilty conscience. Another bit of her thought that this must a ghost, or a dream, or _something_ somehow not of this world. And another bit, something Adora had thought was dead, was burning with new life: daring to hope that yes- Catra was alive. _Do you not believe your own eyes?_

"Is that... You?" Adora's voice began to quiver as she approached Catra. In truth, Adora couldn't believe her own eyes, not after all this time.

"I haven't changed that much have I?" Catra's words may have gestured a little towards indignant, but Adora could hear the chuckle in her voice- raspy, but surprisingly gentle.

Adora started to speak but couldn't find the words to reply. Catra _had_ changed. The waist coat was new- red with gold trim, almost nodding towards a uniform of some kind- and now Adora was closer she could see other changes: less suspicion on her face, less of a glare directed at the world...

But so much was the same. A mane that refused to be controlled, a smile calling out for mischief and mayhem and those beautiful, beautiful eyes that Adora could just gaze into forever and ever...

Adora reached out, slowly at first, and touched Catra's shoulder, and then her cheek. Definitely not a ghost, definitely not a vision, definitely not a dream. Tears welled up in Adora's eyes and her heart soared as she realised that _yes_ \- this was the real Catra, that she wasn't dead or some princess's captive or worse but _alive_ and _here_.

Adora, still transformed into She-Ra, lunged forward and pulled Catra off the ground into a tight hug. Tears of joy poured down Adora's face, half turning her laughter into a sob. She tried to speak, but her words squashed by the years of bottled emotions and history that came pouring out in one long _its you its really you you're alive and i love you and i'm never letting you go again_.

Even when Adora had composed herself enough to place Catra back down, arms still falling down Catra's shoulders, she still couldn't find the words she needed to speak. Her voice, though more coherent, could only come out with a whisper.

"You're alive."

"Of course I'm alive. You rescued me."

Adora bit her lip and instinctively started to pull away. Of course Catra would think about it like that. Adora knew better, but this wasn't the time to argue about it. This was her chance to start to do _something_ about all those years of suffering her mistakes and stupidity caused for Catra. 

Catra looked confused, obviously seeing signs of Adora's inner conflicts, but before she could speak Adora grabbed Catra's with two of her own, hope rising again in her eyes.

"You can come back. I... Haven't killed _her_... Yet... But I have power now. I can protect you and-"

"No."

With a word from Catra, Adora's hopes and dreams came to a halt. In their place was a silence that left Adora feeling as small and powerless as she was in Shadow Weaver's care. Adora started to speak again, hoping that she had misunderstood, or that Catra didn't mean it somehow, but to no avail.

"No Adora." Catra gently pulled her hand out of Adora's grasp, trying to keep her voice a gentle and controlled as she could. "That princess you were fighting? She's... My sister."

If Adora's hopes had come to a halt before, with Catra's last few words they shattered. And now she had hindsight, Adora could only see her fault. _Of course_ Catra would find herself a family. _Of course_ she would build herself a new life after all of Adora's stupid mistakes ruined her last one. And of course she was not going to come back to the Horde now. Maybe _something_ could have been worked out if Adora had tried talking the princess down instead of immediately fighting her, but no, Adora had gone and ruined that to. _Stupid stupid stupid stupid STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID STUPID_ -

"I don't want to fight you." Catra's eyes filled with tears, her voice cracking as she spoke. "So please... Just... Go..."

Adora thought about just leaving as Catra requested. For the briefest moment, she even considered joining Catra's side, of giving up her power and position in the Horde. For that moment, Adora had to admit that Catra would be worth giving up all the power in the world...

And then the reality of her situation squashed that moment. Adora's desperate hope gave way to her inner steel, her voice filled with determination:

"No Catra. Right now, I am the only thing in the Horde stopping Shadow Weaver from hurting more people," Adora thought of Scorpia and her old squad mates. "every conquest I make keeps Hordak on my side and limits who she can hurt. I've abandoned one friend to her already. I won't let it happen again."

Catra frowned, thinking on how the Adora she knew would never abandon anyone. It took a moment for her to clock who Adora was referring to.

"Adora- you... You didn't abandon me. You rescued me-"

"I was half the reason you needed rescuing in the first place." Adora restrained a growl in her voice. "I sat back and did nothing as she hurt again and again-"

"You were a kid!" Catra half snarled and half shouted, not sure whether she should be frustrated or horrified. "What were you meant to do?!"

"A kid?! None of us had the luxury of being a kid! I was the only one too _STUPID_ to realise it!"

Catra moved as if to respond, but stopped. As much as she wanted to put together the right combination of words to talk Adora down peacefully, she knew that any chance of that was gone. And Adora, eyes full of tears, knew that any chance of Catra being convinced to come back without her surrender was gone. 

Catra extended her claws as Adora shifted into a fighting stance- for both knew that when words fail there is only war.

\---

It goes without saying that Adora was familiar with war. Even before her first engagement, she essentially grew up in a barracks- always being primed for combat with the enemy. And when fate gifted her with a sword and more power than she thought she'd ever have, she knew she has found just what she needed for that combat.

The real surprise was who Adora knew the enemy to be and what war she was really fighting. It was a different war from Hordak's war. She was fighting in that one, but that just a means to an end for her. No, her war began, really began, on the day she demonstrated the power of She-Ra.

Shadow Weaver hadn't been surprised when Adora turned out to be a princess. Suspiciously lacking in surprise even: she had responded by organising a raid upon a rebel town with Adora as a spearhead. There was no plan to hold the town, this was a field test for She-Ra and demonstration of power by Shadow Weaver, a way of impressing and intimidating the various figures of power within the Horde with who she now had at her beck and call.

Hordak himself had been all but dragged out of his laboratory to see this, and had decided that if he had to give up his precious time then obviously a handful of force captains had to join him for this. As they watched the action from afar in a large observation skiff, Adora couldn't be completely sure of their reaction in the moment, but she could guess.

Out of the forces gathered for the raid, Adora alone had marched forward against the rebels. Her squadmates, Lonnie, Kyle and Rogellio, had moved to accompany her, but she gently told them to hold back. As She-Ra, Adora fought for Shadow Weaver's raid alone.

She exceeded all expectations. The line of the town's militia was broken within minutes; its infantry reduced to blind panic. 

It was when she returned to the rest of the Horde raiding party that the officer's skiff descended for her to board. Adora quickly ordered the rest of raiding party to mop up the remaining militia forces and take them prisoner. Thinking that her part in all this was sorted, but not even bothering to leave her She-Ra form, Adora boarded the skiff.

She walked into the open arms and fawning compliments of Shadow Weaver. Adora had found Shadow Weaver's affection uncomfortable for years at this point, but knew how to zone out and dull herself to the world. Adora had thought that she'd spend the rest of the day like that: almost dead to the world- a prop for Shadow Weaver to intimidate those beneath her and curry favour with Hordak. Adora had thought that her only chance of changing that was in making up some excuses to leave Shadow Weaver's company and spend the rest of the day enjoying Scorpia's hugs.

Adora had thought wrong. 

"Sir! Our forces have been pinned down by the enemy!"

The shouting of one of the skiff's crew snapped Adora out of her trance, and she quickly grabbed one of the skiff's telescopes to observe the situation herself. A unit of their raiding party had been pinned down: they had chased the remains of the town's militia as ordered, but hadn't spotted the militia bowmen regaining their discipline and turning their rout into an ambush. Now the unit was taking cover in a ditch, unable to move without becoming targets, unable to stay without eventually being cut down when the militia launched a counterattack.

"Leave them." A preening Shadow Weaver more or less had command, and it filled her voice with such satisfaction. " _They_ were stupid enough to fall into that trap, and so are not worth the effort of rescuing. Besides, our work here is done."

 _Leave them_. Shadow Weaver's words echoed around Adora's mind, reawakening clinging, cutting memories and leaving a trail of rage across her thoughts. All this was just a game to Shadow Weaver, a game played with Hordak and the force captains with the Horde soldiers as pieces in it. If Shadow Weaver got what she wanted, that unit would die as a side effect of showing Adora off. Not for any important mission or even anything like a goal. Just a side effect. 

And it all came back to Adora. Again. That unit would die so that Shadow Weaver could show Adora off. The town's militia would die, not so that the town could have civilisation and order brought to it, but so that Shadow Weaver could show Adora off. An angry voice inside of Adora asked how many lives Shadow Weaver's game had cost already. Another angry bit of her noted that Adora was now helping Shadow Weaver in her damn game. Helping get good people killed.

Adora bit back tears as she remembered Catra.

"THE STRONG DO NOT ABANDON THEIR COMRADES!" Adora saw red as she roared into Shadow Weaver's face. Her thoughts cleared, but instead of backing down as she might have done years ago, Adora's eyes narrowed as she snarled: "Unless you're suggesting I'm weak?"

The whole skiff was suddenly silent. The skiff's crew had learned long ago to keep their heads down when the officers argued. The force captains were gobsmacked, not quite believing that anyone, yet alone Shadow Weaver's specially trained pet soldier, would speak to her like that. Hordak, after having remained stoic throughout the demonstration, looked uncharacteristically amused.

And for the first time in Adora's life, Shadow Weaver now looked small. Her mask hid her facial expression, and even her body language was disguised by her robes. But that subtle presence of power now seemed muted, her willingness to threaten at the slightest infraction unable to deal with outright defiance. At least, not when that defiance had power to back it up.

Not wanting to give Shadow Weaver a chance to respond, Adora broke the silence with a snarl:

"I'll deal with this problem myself."

The skiff had ascended since Adora had boarded, but her rebellion against Shadow Weaver had left Adora's blood running hot- she was feeling far too impatient to wait for it to descend again.

So she jumped.

And landed with a grunt. The forces from her raiding party were shocked at the princess falling from the heavens; her old squad mates had run up to see if she was okay, but there was no need. Adora's She-Ra form was built to deal with far worse.

"Atten-tion!" At Adora's command, her squad mates formed up. Now all that remained were their orders: "Kyle- prepare the medical tents, we have a rescue mission and there will be injured to attend to."

"Y- yes Force Captain Adora."

"Rogellio- we have a unit trapped. Follow my lead, but break off on my signal and try to guide them back to base. I'll make sure the enemy is distracted, but keep low and don't make any risky moves."

Rogellio gave an affirmative grunt and a salute.

"Lonnie- set up a sniping point and cover Rogellio. I'll be running interference, but Rogellio will be helping wounded men and won't be able to defend himself at peak capacity. Take out anyone who takes too much of an interest."

"Aye aye Force Captain!"

"You have your orders. Now move out!"

Her squad snapped into action as Adora sprinted towards the action- her plan for "running interference" in this case meant charging at the enemy howling like a demon. 

Not exactly subtle, but in the end it did the trick: the unit was rescued, and the town surrendered to the Horde- Shadow Weaver's games cast aside in favour of the designs that started to form in Adora's mind on that skiff. Afterall, though only Adora and perhaps Hordak realised it at the time, Adora's actions on the skiff were more than just a way to rescue a unit. 

They were a declaration of war.

A war fought with words and favours instead of blades and magic. Politics really, but as anyone who pays attention to these things will tell you: politics is just the continuation of warfare by other means. This was Adora's war. Yes, she was still fighting Hordak's war, but only as a means of fighting her own. With how oddly disinterested Hordak was in the day to day operations of the Horde, this was all but encouraged. 

Adora knew on the way back home that would obey Hordak... In the knowledge that she could use the Horde. She could build a world where every orphan could be given a family. A world where someone like Scorpia would be adored- no, _loved_ \- instead of being treated like a dangerous freak. A world where the weak could be nurtured into strength instead of being crushed.

A world without Shadow Weaver in it.

\---

Scorpia stretched into a yawn, her legs reaching down a bed covered in paperwork. Rank had its privileges, like you're own room, but these things came with responsibility that almost made Scorpia long for the days of non stop combat drills. It wasn't that Scorpia was bad at paperwork necessarily- though her claws meant she had to be more careful and slower with the paper if she didn't want send it flying everywhere- but there was just so _much_ of it.

Her room was designed to be spartan and efficient- a bed, a desk and not much else, but Scorpia being Scorpia, that didn't last long. It began with Scorpia sticking her doodles up on the wall as a way of brightening the place up. Then the factories started rolling out cameras for the scouts and Scorpia couldn't resist borrowing one or two and her walls were covered in photos ever since.

The latest addition to the room was a little unusual. Scorpia and Adora had been on a routine scouting mission in an abandoned village when they found it: a fine leather bag, filled with make up and brushes, left behind as its owner rushed to escape. Together with Adora's squad mates, they had brought this strange spoil of war back to Scorpia's room. Over Scorpia's desk they all grasped and fiddled and gazed in confusion and wonder over the myriad brushes and the flurry of colours that spilt out of the bag, only pausing to test a lipstick or foundation on Kyle or experiment on wearing it themselves. Rogellio ended up taking a nail file to use on the occasional annoying scale, and Kyle quietly took a few bits and bobs that he actually rather liked, but most of the bag's contents were still scattered across Scorpia's desk.

Scorpia was at first glad when her door opened without any knocking, as the only person who did that was Adora: brilliant friend, adorable little sister and perfect excuse to get away from the paperwork for an hour or two. In one swift, sporting an excited grin, Scorpia swung her legs off her bed and started rushing into a hug...

And then stopped. 

It was Adora. But there was something very wrong.

Adora was still She-Ra. It was fairly well known among the Horde cadets that knew her that when outside of the battlefield Adora would become or stay as She-Ra in order to impress the good Horde officers around to her side and intimidate the bad officers to stop them from hurting people. But Scorpia knew another reason: it was easier to hide her emotions as She-Ra. She-Ra was powerful, beautiful and strong in more ways than one- a giant among men. As buff and disciplined as she was, Adora was tragically human with all the frailties that implied. Unsurprisingly, one of these forms was better at holding back her tears than the other.

Scorpia's worst fears were confirmed when She-Ra shifted her form into a shivering, weeping Adora. Adora being fragile was something Scorpia was used to- Adora always saw herself as something to be measured to her own personal harsh standards and would _hurt_ when she inevitably didn't measure up. But this was the worst Adora had been in years: not so much damaged as she was a wreck of a human being, hurting so much that she couldn't function on any level, her attempts to move only moving her more and more into a foetal position and her attempts to speak only bringing out more tears.

Scorpia's tail sent the paper work flying as it swept the bed clear and her claw grabbed a blanket. A moment later, and she was wrapping Adora in the blanket as her sister cried into her shoulder. 

"Its okay. Just... Let it out." Scorpia reassured Adora as she picked her up as tenderly as she could and carried Adora to the bed.

Scorpia wasn't sure how long she spent with Adora curled up on her lap, sheltered from the world by the blanket and Scorpia's hug. When Adora stopped and sat up in Scorpia's lap, Scorpia's shoulder was soaked with Adora's tears.

"Are you okay to talk about it?" Scorpia spoke as gently as she could, her hug around Adora loosening but not breaking. Adora gulped, her trembling as she spoke:

"Catra's alive."

Scorpia managed to stop herself frowning in confusion, but it still took a moment for her to realise why Adora was so distressed.

"Oh no..."

"She's got a family now. Her sister's a princess and we... We..." Adora started to break down in tears again.

"Easy. Just... Take it as slow as you need to." Scorpia tightened her cuddle, one claw moving up to stroke Adora's head as carefully as Scorpia could manage.

"We fought. First I fought the princess... And then Catra stopped me and we... B-both tried to talk but we... We fought anyway." Adora spoke quietly. "It was my fault... I-"

"No"

Adora blinked. It was one word, but Scorpia did not sound inclined to budge on it.

"But it was Scorpia! I could have tried talking her sister down or found the right way to reason with Catra or-"

"No Adora. I see where this is going, and you're not going on a self blaming downward spiral on my watch. You _know_ what we say when that happens?"

Both were silent for a moment.

"Everyone makes mistakes." Adora began to recite their mantra, with Scorpia joining in a few words into it. "I am not perfect, but I am trying my best."

"Okay- keep thinking positive Adora." Scorpia hid a sigh of relief that Adora seemed to have stabilised a little. "Did anything go well?"

"Well... No one died."

" _That's_ good." As low a bar as Adora's statement may have seemed, Scorpia's response was nothing but sincere. "Do you know how destructive Horde weaponry is? How easy collateral damage is? No one dying takes effort and care that _you_ gave. And Catra will know it- even if you fought, she knows that you value life. Now- did anything else go well?"

"We... We did manage to talk a little..."

"That's a start. Even if it didn't go well this time, there will be a next time."

"But... I couldn't really get through to her..."

" _But_ you can prepare for next time. You weren't expecting to meet Catra this time round, but next time you will be."

"I... What would I even say?"

Scorpia opened her mouth to respond, but found she honestly didn't know what to say. If she was honest, Scorpia wasn't even sure if this was something she _could_ help Adora with. When she did find something to say, she was worried that was grasping at straws:

"Write a letter."

"What?"

"Write her a letter!" Scorpia was now confident that she had found a good idea. "I mean, if its written down you can look over it right? And, well, my only other plans for tonight involve doing paperwork, so once you're done I can double check it if you want. And... And it means that if Catra gets away that you can give her the letter to escape with and if you capture her you can read it to her."

"That's a brilliant idea Scorpia!" Adora launched herself forward, hugging Scorpia around her neck. "Thank you!"

"Hey its okay sis." Scorpia returned Adora's hug. "I think I've got some paper on my desk... Its just a little buried in make up."

Now full of enthusiasm, Adora shot off to Scorpia's desk. Scorpia couldn't help but chuckle a little at her sister, but found her mood sour when she realised that until Adora had a first draft to look over that there was still a lot of official paperwork to sort through. Adora cleared the mess on Scorpia's desk away as quickly as she could, her mind already racing to find the right words that would help Catra _understand_.


	8. Enemy? II

The wind gently tugged at Catra's fur as the sunset painted the sky red and gold and slowly turned the landscape below into shadows. She had originally found this spot on the roof of Bright Moon Castle when she was new to Bright Moon and looking for a good place to watch the sunset, and since then it had become one of the places she went to whenever she wanted some privacy.

She had loved the sunset when she first saw it years ago- with the sky choked with smog in the Fright Zone, she had never seen nature itself try its hand at art. She had watched the sunset every evening for a week afterwards, and done so many times after. This time however, her eyes gazed out to the horizon without any such appreciation- the beautiful view could only take a back seat to her internal turmoil. Curled up with her knees against her chest, Catra was so wrapped up in her thoughts that, in spite of how strong her senses were, she didn't notice the sound of wings or sandalled feet landing near by.

"You know, this is a beautiful view."

Catra's ear twitched in acknowledgement of her mother's voice, but otherwise didn't move. Angella didn't comment on this. Instead, she carefully walked closer and sat down beside her daughter.

"Would it help if you talked about it?"

Her body barely moving, Catra held something up in front of Angella: a small envelope, unopened and carefully sealed.

"Its from Adora." Catra tried to keep her voice neutral and controlled, but this in itself was enough to tell anyone who knew her how shaken she was by the letter.

"Do you want to read it?"

"Yes. No. Maybe- I don't know!" Catra's voice turned into a frustrated snarl as her control slipped and her fur flared up alongside her frustrations. Angella remained calm, her hand stroking Catra's fur back down.

"Do you want to hear what I think?"

"It can't hurt." Catra's pride and habits meant that her words were brusque and her voice came out as a mumble, but in spite of this her voice and word were spoken with a subtext of _yes, please, pretty please yes yes yes_ that Angella had learned to detect. 

"When... When you are a leader in a time of war, you have to search for two things: winning the war, and winning the peace. Few wars end with one side exterminated, so at some point once you have won the war you have to ensure that you can live in peace with the people you defeated." Angella spoke carefully, observing Catra's reaction. "When Micah died I... Didn't think I could win the peace with the Horde. I didn't think I could be at peace with the people that killed my husband. But... Things have changed. Now, the woman leading the charge of the Horde is not the person who killed my husband. Instead, she is the person who rescued my daughter. I... Don't know if this war can be won. But... When I think of Adora, I know that the peace can be won."

Catra had turned to look at Angella, but kept her thoughts to herself. She was still obviously unsure about this, but with Angella's input she was a lot less distressed. 

"In all honesty Catra, I'm not sure I can advise you on what you should do here. I'm not sure what I'd do, I'm not sure what would be the more morally right choice and I don't think I could make a better choice than you. But... Whatever you decide to do with this, I'll know that you thought long and hard about it... And that you tried to do your best. And... No matter what, I won't judge you for whatever decision you make here."

Angella gently pulled Catra into a hug, planting a kiss on the top of her head.

"And no matter what decision you make, I'll always love you."

Catra didn't seem to reply, but Angella had learned to spot the signs in how Catra behaved. The fact that she let Angella get close to her like this all but said the _I love you to Mom_ that Catra was still too guarded to put into words.

"Take as long as you need up here," Angella pulled away from Catra, but gave her hand a light, reassuring squeeze with her own. "Glimmer will have probably noticed that you've disappeared by now, but I'll keep her busy and let her know you're okay, so you should get the time you need up here."

With that, Angella stretched her wings to their full length and shot straight upwards like a tightly coiled spring releasing. 

And Catra was alone. With Adora's letter.

Catra sighed. She wasn't sure what conclusion she had come to when she extended a claw- not sure whether she was going to open the envelope or tear the letter to shreds. She only knew that she had thought about it for far too long.

A bit of her was surprised when her claws slit open the envelope in a single swift motion, leaving the letter intact. 

Catra paused. Her hands trembled. Her breath came back gasping as she released a breath she hadn't realised she was holding.

Catra took a deep breath to steady herself, and, with tenderness that didn't come naturally to her, slowly removed the letter.

Another pause. 

Then, releasing her breath, Catra carefully opened up the letter.

\---

Catra stared down at the crowd below her, all of whom were enjoying the Princess Prom a lot more than she was. From her balcony, Catra saw the dancers blur into whirling rainbow bright colours against the cold blue ice and the glimmering lights, her eyes glazing over as she stretched into a yawn. Of course, catching herself as she stretched, she quickly smoothed out the ruffles the stretch had made in her tuxedo. In spite of everything, she wouldn't let go of her pride at looking utterly _glorious_.

At this point though, Catra was pointedly not enjoying the party- to be honest, mostly Catra felt like an idiot. When Adora, Perfuma and Scorpia turned up, Catra had assumed that there was some Horde scheme afoot. However, after an hour of practicing her usual skullduggery, she had found nothing. Near as Catra could tell, the only reason they turned up was because Perfuma wanted to go and needed someone to talk to now she joined the Horde. There was no evil plan, no scheme, and the only skullduggery was her own.

And there was why Catra felt like an idiot. Of course there was no plot: afterall, this was Adora. The force captain was practically _made_ out of honourable intentions. Catra wasn't even sure if Adora had ever lied in all the time they lived together. The girl did not have a shady, duplicitous bone in her body. 

_She's not like me_

Catra's thought surprised her, but she couldn't argue, couldn't resist the rabbit hole of self hate that her train of thought tumbled down. 

_She's better than me_

When this happened, Catra had learned to either distract herself by staying close to the other members of the "Best Friend Squad" _who are better than you deserve_ or talk with Angella _who deserves far better than you_ about it.

_Adora's better than me but I escaped while she was trapped in Hell_

But Catra had lost track of Entrapta when she was spying on the Horde _so its your fault_ , and had told Bow and Glimmer to not worry and just have some fun when they offered to help Catra with her Horde problem and she hadn't seen them since _so that's also your fault_. As for Angella? She was several kingdoms away, ruling Brightmoon while Catra _fucked up her little diplomatic mission_. As such, Catra was alone with her hurting, betraying thoughts.

_Adora should have escaped instead of me_

_She's strong, but oh so gentle_

_She's disciplined, but never cruel_

_Even her smile brightens a room_

_Me?_

_I'm only good for hurting people_

_and manipulating people_

_Adora deserves so much more_

_than me_

_She deserves my life m_ ore than me"

"What?"

Catra was shocked out of her thoughts with the realisation that she had company and that her thoughts had started to emerge as whispers. A pair of eyes that seemed short of patience stared up at her from beneath a tiara, while the face they stared from tried its best to be stern emerging from a white and blue cloak: the young Princess Frosta had joined Catra.

"Oh, sorry Princess." Catra recovered swiftly; her thoughts hidden behind a scratchy, laid back voice and an ever so slightly smug smile. "I was just... Thinking..."

"You asked to see me?" Frosta voice was curt, no nonsense. 

_Or at least, that's the impression she wants to give._ Now distracted, Catra's train of thought ran along more productive lines. When Catra spoke, she still guarded her thoughts with a calm, smiling poker face; but it was less about hiding her emotions and more about playing the old manipulation games: "Yeah, I did Princess. I think we both know why..."

"My answer is still the same. My kingdom has been strong enough to resist the Horde alone before now; and judging by how my guests from the Horde are behaving, I'm not sure my kingdom will have to."

Catra hid a smirk, listening less to what should have been a disappointing answer and more to the little details that Frosta wasn't aware she was letting slip. From the formal way Frosta was speaking to the way her voice sounded restrained, all this told Catra that Frosta was not the cold, impartial authority figure she wanted to be seen as. Beneath the formal shell was a slightly awkward 13 year old girl. Probably a lonely 13 year old girl as well- Catra hadn't seen her together with any friends throughout the whole party. Easy for anyone to play to their own ends if they knew how.

"The 3 Horde princesses? Of course you shouldn't be worried about them." Catra had a chuckle in her voice, first put there deliberately to put Frosta off guard but genuinely there when she saw Frosta trying to hide her surprise. "Perfuma? Her kingdom fell to the Horde, what, last week? She's too scared and unsteady to be a threat to anyone. Scorpia? I mean, sure, she obeys orders, but she'd rather give the world a hug instead of conquer it. And Adora..."

Catra paused. She had intended to play Frosta the most reliable way possible- by telling her the truth. Of course, the truth about Adora was... Complicated, and with many complicated feelings. When Catra continued, her voice was gentle and more sincere:

"Adora might be the most beautiful person I know. We... Have a history, enough for me to say that... She's just... Look, I owe Adora my life. I don't have a bad thing to say about her." 

When Catra paused again, it was to gauge the effect her speech was having on Frosta: watching her confusion being joined by that off guard awkwardness people have from an unexpected confession; her social defensiveness dropped, used to trying to spot a lie but never prepared for the possibility of the truth being used in the same way as a lie. 

"But they are not the Horde." Catra's voice suddenly filled with sternness and steel. "They are tools used by the Horde. Don't mistake the Horde's tools for the Horde. I'm the one person here who can honestly tell you that making that mistake could cost you your life."

Before Frosta could find the right words to react to Catra's speech, Catra had opened up a sleeve on her tuxedo, rolling it up to reveal an ugly reminder of her life in the Horde carved into her arm.

"The Horde did this to a girl your age. It did worse on the inside: that girl grew up _wrong_. She hurt everyone she knew, even the few people that wanted to help her. She played people like chess pieces, like stakes in a game of cards. The Horde made her hurt, made her manipulative, made her predatory. And even though she left Horde... The Horde never left her." Catra put her scar away, trying not to feel guilty as Frosta's confusion was replaced with poorly hidden distress. "You know, no one's really sure what Hordak wants. So you might think he'd conquer Brightmoon and decide to stop, but I think if he was the person to stop at Brightmoon he'd be the person who'd have stopped several kingdoms ago. So I think he'll use his tools to conquer all Etheria and then get rid of his tools. So the real question on whether you should join the Princess Alliance is this: how long will your kingdom stand against the She-Ra? Or maybe the real question is this: do you want your subject's children to grow up to be that girl I told you about? 'Cause I don't think I'd want that for anyone."

The final piece of her game in place, Catra left her mark to stew in her own distress; striding past Frosta to rejoin the crowd. The seeds were planted for Frosta to fall in with the Princess Alliance soon enough, all that was needed was time for Catra's words and warnings to echo through Frosta's head. This sort of thing was all so easy for Catra _wow, you manipulated a thirteen year old. What next- taking candy from a baby?_

Catra sighed. With no Frosta, there was nothing to distract from the guilt she had accumulated. Suddenly, she couldn't bring herself to rejoin the party. Instead, Catra's thoughts went to the roof of Frosta's castle, of cold northern winds that won't get rid of the pain, but could leave her numb enough that it wouldn't matter.

Leaving for the roof, Catra consoled herself with the thought that even if manipulating and hurting people was all she was good for, at least she could put it to good use.

That said, though they're opinions were far from Catra's mind; there were two people also at the Princess Prom who very much disagreed with what Catra thought of herself.

\---

"Does Catra still purr in her sleep?" Like most of the fancy clothes the Horde had available, Adora's shoulderless, blood red dress was meant for a more subtle form of intimidation. However, when Adora was hidden behind a pillar whispering excitedly like a gossipy school girl, the effect was diminished to say the least.

" _Catra purrs in her sleep!?_ " In contrast to Adora's lush dress, Entrapta had simply spruced up her normal lab uniform a little for the party. That said, her excited squee, normally reserved for innovative or elegantly designed machinery, fit the tone of the conversation perfectly.

"Yeah! We used to share a bed and when she was asleep she gave the _cutest_ purrs."

"Hmm, maybe I'll catch her on another field mission- wait. Wait!" Entrapa pulled out a voice recorder, quickly jamming in a tape from her belt and hitting record. "Catra log 32, apparently Adora _shared a bed_ with her during her life in the Fright Zone."

"It wasn't like _that_!" Adora couldn't help but laugh as she futilely tried to defend herself. "Well, it wasn't entirely like that."

Entrapta's eyes widened. Her face was often difficult to read, but Adora could tell that Entrapta wanted more details. It wasn't like being interrogated, and there wasn't really any jealously in Entrapta's face either. No, it was more like innocent request of a puppy, so soft yet so difficult to argue against.

"We... We were raised together. And... A lot of the time, we were all we had. So... We were very close. There were... A lot of... Things and feelings we both knew about but didn't talk about. A lot of moments when no one was watching where... We came really close to acting on it." Adora's voice was quiet and wistful, almost sad. "But... There was always Shadow Weaver. She... Raised us both, but... She hated Catra. Really hated her. I mean... Shadow Weaver hurt everyone she knew, and I don't think she knows any other way of doing things... But she could still be nice to me. I mean, once you really know her, that niceness just makes your skin crawl, but... But she always hurt Catra more than anyone else. And we always knew that... If we got too close then Shadow Weaver would..."

Adora's voice trailed off into silence, her point made and her body seeming to shrink from the emotional weight of her personal history. Talking about her past was like showing a tapestry of scars: intimate in such a way as to leave her feeling vulnerable. 

Entrapta's facial expression barely changed, and she remained silent. But had other ways of letting her feelings be known. A tendril of her hair wrapped itself around Adora's hand, embracing it ever so gently. Message received, Adora smiled back, a little strength coming back to her with Entrapta's support.

"You know," Adora was strong enough to speak again, but her voice was still a little unsteady "the one thing that amazes was how strong Catra is to have lived through all that. I mean... She had almost everyone she knew hating her at best and... Actively setting her up to fail so they'd have an excuse to get rid of her at worst... I don't think I could survive what she went through but... But she did. And once she got out, she... She found herself the family she deserved from the start. Even if I survived what she went through, I know that I would have been so... Broken... that I wouldn't have found a place for myself afterwards..."

"Catra is amazing." Entrapta's voice was slow, contemplative, moving carefully so what she wanted to say would not be lost in words no one but her seemed to understand. "Before I met her I... I didn't really talk with people. Not really. I'd been... Hurt a few times, and always had a problem with... Meshing socially with people. So... At some point I just gave up on connecting with people. I mean... I'd still kind of talk but... I sort of treated them as lab accidents waiting to happen. Variables. Data points. I guess... If you think of people like that then... They're not going to hurt you emotionally, anymore than a bad cable or fluid leak is. But... Catra was the first person to reach out to me... And she... She made it worthwhile for me to reach back..."

With Entrapta's tender admission, Adora felt she should return the favour for the support Entrapta gave her earlier. First she delicately touched the hair coiled around her other hand, then she began gently stroking down the pig tail the coil of hair emerged from. Entrapta leaned into Adora as another tendril of hair reached around Adora's shoulder. An unusual hug, but one both very much appreciated.

"Oh snap!" Entrapta, a little embarrassed, suddenly broke out of her hug induced serenity. "I've, uh, just realised that I've left the recorder on throughout all that. So, umm, do you want me to get rid of that recording? I mean, I'm normally good ignoring a little privacy in the name of science, but I think that was a little, uh-"

"No, its alright. You shared a secret with me as much as I shared one with you, and I get the feeling that other people don't go through your recordings, so our secrets are safe." Adora, by contrast was very much still in that hug induced serenity. That said, she did give a little frown when she spoke again: "Is Catra here? I don't think I've seen her at all."

"She came as my plus one, and I was following her earlier but I got..." Entrapta's voice filled with frustration at herself. "Distracted... And I lost her." 

"You're worried about her?"

"A little. I mean... In a way its nice to have got distracted, because I got to talk with you, but... Sometimes when she's on her own, my research on her suggests that she... Sort of spirals downwards emotionally... And I'm not sure I can help her, but... If it happens, I want to be there for her."

"That settles it." Adora stretched out of the hug she had been in, a burst of energy filling her voice. "We're just going to have to find Catra."

"And along the way, we can do some sociological research!"

"What's that?"

"Well, when I did it with Catra; she said it like spying, but more scientific." Eagerness flooded into Entrapta's voice, that innocent puppy dog face was back. And Adora was not particularly inclined to resist.

"Yeah, why not."

\---

Adora was surprised when the door opened to Hordak's sanctum as she was approaching it. Hordak preferred to let his underlings the business of actually running the Horde so that he could carry on with his experiments in peace: it was only the recent _incident_ , as it was officially known, that had brought Hordak to actually have a meeting with her. The idea that he might have two in a row was strange, but as initially revealed with several intercepted messages and as recent events seemingly confirmed they were all living in strange times indeed.

It made a little more sense when Shadow Weaver slithered out of the door, her body tired and her power muted. When it was clear how much of an impediment to the Horde Catra actually was, Adora had taken the liberty of providing Hordak with a quick profile of her among her paper reports. Not too many details of course, just a few important ones. Such as where a general for the Princess Kingdoms developed such an instinct for strategy and tactics in spite of there being no sign of the Princess Kingdoms having the kind of culture that produces that sort of instinct, or the 14 years under the power of a certain parental figure that cumulated in Catra running away from the Horde. 

All little details, with the obvious conclusion not really stated but left for Hordak himself to put together. Obviously he had put it together, and now Shadow Weaver's parenting skills had been demonstrated as having given the Horde the biggest speed bump to its progress in years he had suddenly felt the need to have a little chat with Shadow Weaver about them.

"Shadow Weaver." In spite of how Adora felt, the greeting was neutral. Too close to Hordak's sanctum and the walls had ears, and if nothing else Hordak seemed to find other people's personal vendettas to be a waste of time.

"Why do you hate me Adora?" There was weakness in Shadow Weaver's voice, but Adora had played this game too long to really feel anything sympathetic back. She knew Shadow Weaver was not above sounding weak to manipulate her, but she had never figured out the difference between Shadow Weaver trying to manipulate her by sounding weak and actual weakness. "Wasn't I always kind to you? Didn't I raise you well?"

Adora resisted the urge to snarl something back at Shadow Weaver. Shadow Weaver had a way with words, a way of playing with them until somehow it sounded like Shadow Weaver was perfectly in the right and no one could possibly disagree. This happened every time Adora had tried to disagree with when she was young: no matter what had happened, or who had been hurt or how badly, or how much every fibre of Adora's being was screaming that this was wrong, Shadow Weaver somehow made the words agree with her. Even before Catra left, Adora had learnt that it was pointless to argue with her mother figure.

Adora supposed that Shadow Weaver was kind to her, and once long ago Adora did enjoy it, but after Catra left Adora discovered that it was a very strange sort of kindness. What other kindness was there that made Adora's skin crawl like it was covered in a swarm of lice? What other kind of affection left her holding back the urge to vomit? What other kind of gentleness left her recoiling like one recoils away from a hot stove?

Adora guessed she could try explaining all of this to Shadow Weaver... But she knew that if there was ever a time for that, it had past when Shadow Weaver tried to murder Catra. Besides, even if Shadow Weaver was being sincere, Adora didn't think Shadow Weaver could understand Adora's feelings even if she tried; their ruin of a relationship was never going to have the closure of an honest discussion or mutual understanding. If Adora had her way, their relationship would have the closure of her sword buried within Shadow Weaver's gut; but until she was completely certain that Hordak wouldn't care she couldn't take the risk- if she miscalculated, Hordak would at the very least try keeping her on a tighter leash, which would mean he'd go after the people she cared about.

So instead of all this, Adora kept her voice as calm and neutral as possible and said:

"If you have to ask, there is no point in me explaining." Adora didn't react when she saw Shadow Weaver's self pity become a resentful glare. In fact, she did her best to sound dismissive of it: "Excuse me."

Adora strode past Shadow Weaver, closing the door behind her as she entered Hordak's sanctum.

"PAPERWORK! PAPERWORK! TOO MUCH DAMN PAPERWORK!" Hordak's voice greeted Adora as she entered, but obviously not coming from Hordak himself. He never lost his temper in such an uncontrolled manner in front of his subordinates. 

No, the record of Hordak's outburst, played whenever Adora entered Hordak's sanctum, was coming from Hordak's imp- his lips curled into a snarl and eyes into a glare whilst his body was dwarfed by the desk assigned to him and the great towers of paper that covered it. 

It was Adora's fault that the imp had this new job, though to be fair it wasn't intentional at first. As much as Hordak wanted to simply ignore the actual running of the Horde, Adora felt she had to at least make sure he had a way of remaining up to date with it so that wasn't caught of guard by any new developments. So, she organised a weekly compilation of reports that could be dropped into a tray for him to examine at his leisure. Apparently, Hordak left it a little too long, and so passed it over to his imp to manage.

Of course, when Adora realised that this new job meant that the imp didn't have enough time to spy on people, she decided that if anything he needed more work. Afterall, why have weekly reports when you can have biweekly reports. Not to mention the weapons test results, signed permissions for the weapons tests, parade plans, signed permissions for the parade plans, surveys on how well the new Plumerian rations had been received, new regulations restricting the age of people who could be punished with the lash, notices on plumbing issues in the industrial areas; so many things that could technically be left alone but could really do with someone having a look at in order to completely waste their time.

The imp was caught between Hordak's orders and Adora's desire to remove him in Horde politics and left completely powerless; able only to impotently echo his master's rage in Adora's presence. Adora greeted the imp with the gentlest smile she could pull of, knowing full well that he would see it as the smuggest possible grin.

The imp reacted with a feral hiss, but Adora ignored him. She had bigger fish to fry. For past the little imp and his desk, deeper into the dark and the constant hum of electricity and the smell of metal and oil, tinkering away at his work bench, was Lord Hordak. 

\---

When Adora did find Hordak, as she carefully tried not to stumble in the dark, he was at his work bench, but wasn't tinkering. His work bench had been cleared, a chair placed in front of it whilst he sat behind it. Recent events had forced him to temporarily change his lab into a make shift office, and he was visibly agitated by the change. This was probably why, as she sat down, Adora decided to at least try to meet him half way.

"My Lord Hordak. I'm sorry to pull you away from your work, but-"

"No apologies are necessary." Hordak's words came out with a growl as he waved a claw to dismiss Adora's formalities. "Recent events and the light they shed on the messages our forces have intercepted have made... A number of interruptions to my work essential."

" _Interruptions_ Lord Hordak? You don't mean-" The cogs in Adora's mind turned rapidly. "My lord, you don't think that Shadow Weaver might be working to-"

" _If_ there is a cabal of officers plotting treason against the Horde," Hordak spoke carefully, but Adora had to resist raising an eyebrow at Hordak's insistence that he had any _ifs_ or doubts about it after the incident. "Then it stands to reason that they don't have a figurehead yet, or else they would be acting more overtly. As such, a number of necessary interruptions I have spent today engaged in have been about... Preemptively reminding some unreliable elements of their place in the Horde."

"I see my lord."

"Yes, well..." Hordak's eyes narrowed. "We are certain the Rebellion had no role in the incident?"

"It is very unlikely my lord." Adora sighed as she prepared to elaborate. "As much as they have motive and perhaps even the expertise necessary, they blatantly don't have the resources for anything like the recent incident. If nothing else, we can be certain that if they had the resources necessary, they would have done something like this long ago."

Hordak acknowledged Adora's answer with a grunt. It was a strange conversation to Adora, the one bit of Horde politics that she had learned to live with but never really got used to. Every now and then, you would find an implication so inherently destabilising that it would discussed behind a cloak of officially blessed lies- lies no one believed of course, but no one had to. They merely had to accept that not acting like they believed the lie would cause the status quo to start to break down, and everyone would nod along.

That said, even with that in mind Adora felt that the word "incident" was a bit of an odd fit for a blatant assassination attempt.


End file.
